Friday, April 13, 2007

Do you think I can get out of my lease?

As an adjunct to my post on lame housing posts on Craigslist, I bring to you the best roommates wanted ad ever:

Title: Free for the right female

I need a part-time assistant for housework ( laundry, some cooking,kitchen and washroom cleaning,dishes,ironing,vacuum,dusting....etc. DAILY...) decorating and massages as I am single and do not need to be :). Prefer female or 2 females. In return, you will have your own room in a bright, spacious 2 bedroom fully furnished house with all the toys at no charge and all the meals on the house and possibly other benefits. This is an excellent opportunity to save on rent and grocery. Let's help each other with our needs and enjoy this paradise living on acres of secluded living amongst million dollar mansions minutes drive from the beach and shopping. Send your detailed reply with pic and see if your the first to grab this opportunity :)I am looking for 420 friendly females and the house is smoking but ABSOLUTELY no other drugs.Occasional drinking in the hot tub is OK ;)

#1- Uh, daily housekeeping does not constitute part-time. As such, this is not exactly a steal of a deal, considering that a job may be hard to hold down with these demands.

Seriously, if you want a full-time escort/house-keeper, you need to offer a little more than a room and groceries! The seasoned escort makes enough to rent a room in one night!

#2- You really need to work on your sexual inneuendo. "2 females", "massages as I am single and do not need to be", "possibly other benefits", "helping each other with our needs" and "occasional drinking in the hot tub". Oh, and the ever so subtle emoticon wink?

I also love that you need to have a picture to reply.

I'm rigging my bedroom up right now to start taking some glamour shots. I certainly want to be the first to grab (*wink*) this opportunity!


Beth said...

What a jerk. And a loser.
All those demands for one lousy bedroom and meals?
He sounds like the type who probably has to pay for every "service"...

Brookelina said...

We could have a lot of fun with this one. I say we bombard him with shots of models and send him all over town to meet them.

Ant said...

Signed, the Sultan of Brunei.

(Or so he'd like to think...)

Brookelina's plan sounds like a good one...

Indiana James said...

Sounds like a team plan, has to be caught on film and posted up somewhere with closeups of his loser face for all to see. : )

The Butterfly Bar said...

Holy gods of heaven and hell.

See? Rich people don't have to develop personality, ethics, morals, any of those silly little trapings that hold us "commoners" down so that they can fleece us of our money and flesh alike.

Makes me think of the old dowry system when things like this were acceptable. A father--technically owner of his daughter and also his wife during those times--gets a return on his investment by selling the poor young girl to any scrotum munching parasite who can pay the right price, or close enough. Cha-ching!

What utter, steaming horse shit.
This reminds me of the rich old playboy and his "i was crushed" lawsuit.

Once again, can you imagine the women who answered this add? Yeah, I'm sure she didn't rob him blind every chance she got.
Good eye for post, Princess.