A nerd tribute

(Remember those bad high school reports that started with "Webster's Dictionary defines love as a strong affection for another..."? Here's my juvenile attempt!)

According to the test below (which is surely the definition of academic authority), a nerd is someone passionate about learning/being smart/academia. And, according to the extremel diagnostic quiz below, I am a nerd.

Your Score: Pure Nerd

82 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.


You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.


The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.


Congratulations!


THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

***

It's interesting, considering I have always self-labelled as a geek, which sounds a little more appealing to me, although apparently a little incorrect.
However, I do like to consider myself a bit of an incognito nerd. As perhaps indicated by my low levels of dorkyness, I can hold my own in social situations. It's only once you get to know me a little that I start recommending documentary films or picking apart films that misrepresent random psychological facts.

I don't do a good job at hiding the nerd clumsiness factor, though. I most recently managed to dump a glass of wine on my laptop.
See... trying to be suave with the wine... not so much.

But this post is not about the nerd in me, but rather my fondness for others in this category. For instance, after going to see Super Bad this weekend, I desperately wanted to stroke Michael Cera's character's hair (in a totally platonic and comforting manner), as his social awkwardness was so very endearing.


However, the #1 Nerd?
(totally not Steve Urkel, who is pretty much 100% dork!)

Dilton Motherfuckin' Doiley!!!

He's short, wildly intelligent, wore round classes before Harry Potter made them cool, looks great in a lab coat, and delightfully awkward.

In short, screw deciding between Archie (ugly and a bit of a man whore), Reggie (vain), Moose (seriously? "Duh"? How about "Um" instead?), and Jughead (gay or maybe even asexual).
If I lived in Riverdale, I would totally seduce Dilton Doiley.
And then we could hang out in his basement lab after school in lab coats and talk about how platypuses are goddamn cool.
He might even disassemble his robot girlfriend for me.