Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A nerd tribute

(Remember those bad high school reports that started with "Webster's Dictionary defines love as a strong affection for another..."? Here's my juvenile attempt!)

According to the test below (which is surely the definition of academic authority), a nerd is someone passionate about learning/being smart/academia. And, according to the extremel diagnostic quiz below, I am a nerd.

Your Score: Pure Nerd

82 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.




It's interesting, considering I have always self-labelled as a geek, which sounds a little more appealing to me, although apparently a little incorrect.
However, I do like to consider myself a bit of an incognito nerd. As perhaps indicated by my low levels of dorkyness, I can hold my own in social situations. It's only once you get to know me a little that I start recommending documentary films or picking apart films that misrepresent random psychological facts.

I don't do a good job at hiding the nerd clumsiness factor, though. I most recently managed to dump a glass of wine on my laptop.
See... trying to be suave with the wine... not so much.

But this post is not about the nerd in me, but rather my fondness for others in this category. For instance, after going to see Super Bad this weekend, I desperately wanted to stroke Michael Cera's character's hair (in a totally platonic and comforting manner), as his social awkwardness was so very endearing.

However, the #1 Nerd?
(totally not Steve Urkel, who is pretty much 100% dork!)

Dilton Motherfuckin' Doiley!!!

He's short, wildly intelligent, wore round classes before Harry Potter made them cool, looks great in a lab coat, and delightfully awkward.

In short, screw deciding between Archie (ugly and a bit of a man whore), Reggie (vain), Moose (seriously? "Duh"? How about "Um" instead?), and Jughead (gay or maybe even asexual).
If I lived in Riverdale, I would totally seduce Dilton Doiley.
And then we could hang out in his basement lab after school in lab coats and talk about how platypuses are goddamn cool.
He might even disassemble his robot girlfriend for me.


Airam said...

Dilton! I have a soft spot for the whole Riverdale gang. Damn I love those comics.

Lord Chimmy said...

I'm 60 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 26% Dork.

I doubt the validity of this test. I know I'm much more of a geek than a nerd.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

How do I get a robot girlfriend?

captain corky said...

Steve Urkel might have been a dork, but Stephan Ur-kel was as cool as can be... Just like Captain Corky.

cdp said...

I consider myself an incognito nerd too. And dammit! Everyone has seen Superbad except me.

Beth said...

Hmm. Dilton Doiley.
Getting to know you better with every post.
How telling is it that I was not the least bit attracted to any of the guys in the Archie comics?

Michelle said...

65% nerd here
but i knew that already. ;)
i'm always reading and have a library card, so i was doomed from the start.

libby said...

60 % Nerd, 26% Geek, 30% Dork

egads. the nerd part i get...but DORK? yikes! what a hilarious test! i agree - being smart totally does not hold the same stigma anymore - personally? i love it! I hated it when girls would dumb it down to impress guys

molly said...

Hey--we've all got a little dork in us. It's cool.

Bonanza JellyBean said...

I'm 100% nerd, baby! And proud of it.

Ant said...

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

However, as a bloke that works in the field of computer science I can without question state that I am regularly exposed to the most extreme of nerdy environments - methinks you wouldn't be waxing so lyrical if you were aware of it...

It is a scary place.

And it smells of BO.

SMARTBuddy said...

Im 65% Nerd.

Dam it.

eric1313 said...

Are you picking on Jughead because of that goofy crown thingy he wears? It's very apparent that Jugghead is complete Dorkness Royalty!

Besides, we should let him out himself when he feels comfortable about doing so. Veronica IS the last to know... you can wager on it... shhhhh.........

I'm a mixed bag--was raised nerdish, geekish, and dorkish (by accident, I swear), but in seveth grad started growing my hair long and playing guitar, and by high school I had over two feet of black hair non mullet (a bob with shaved sides and back, like a skater almost, but decidedly a Burnout!) But I still had my group of friends (usually girls, the guys I knew fit all catagories too well to judge that) who were like "you'll always be my favorite nerd, Eric" *resigned sigh*

Have an almost crew cut now, and I wear glasses still.

What? Poetry you say?

Only god can judge me--or this silly test...

speaking of films that misuse psych:

What About Bob?--(good times)

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue...

I'm a Schizophrenic,
and so am I."

What's wrong with that misrepresentation?

Princess Pointful said...

Airam- Me too! I used to devour those things! Although I'm not sure I like the new hip look of Betty & Veronica I see at the check-out stand.

Lord Chimmy- I would like to see the evidence of these claims. What is your geeky passion?

Ultra- Via pure scientific genius.

Corky- Haha! I remember those episodes, when he was all suave. They were my favourites! That is a serious image to live up to!

cdp- Word up for incognito nerds!!

Beth- I think it is probably a sign of mental health.

Michelle- What is more surprising is how few people have a library card!

Libby- Agreed! Jessica Simpson is the bane of my existence!

Molly- Amen to that.

Bonanza- Raise your pocket protector in the air and say it loud!

Ant- *covers her ears* I can't hear you! Lalalalala.

Smartbuddy- You know you love it.

Eric- Eep. Don't even get me started on that one. Whoever started the misconception that schizophrenia has anything in common with multiple personality disorder (actually called dissociative identity disorder these days) can seriously bite me.