Saturday, September 29, 2007

The one in which I do a very poor job at convincing people I'm not a pervert

The Scene: A busy sushi restaurant on Friday night with four other friend, two of each gender.

Guy Friend: Another fun part of growing up with three sisters was that they would steal my wrestler action figures to be their Barbie's boyfriends.

Princess: I remember how I only had like one Ken doll, so when I made him and my Barbies have sex, he got to have a round with something like ten girls.

*silence*

Princess: None of your ever made your dolls have sex?

Others: Um.... no.

Princess: Oh.

*and more silence*

25 comments:

Ant said...

:-D

I probably would have done if I'd had access to lady dolls, but I displayed a satisfactorily healthy (for my parents) interest in lad's toys for that never to be the case.

Optimus Prime banging Ray from Ghostbusters was about the limit of it.

Hmmm, maybe not so "satisfactorily healthy"...

Jen said...

I thought everyone did that with their barbie dolls... now I'm thinking I'm a pervert too.

Beth said...

You're not alone - both my Barbie and Midge dolls had frequent sex with my brother's G.I. Joe figures.

I let Ken watch. ;)

Yoda said...

I would love to see my old He-man action figures bone the petite barbies.

Yup, not doing a convincing job either! :-p

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I used to hang my brothers soft toys...

Hmmm.

Is that scary?

Princess of the Universe said...

I thought everyone did that too...my 2 Ken dolls got a lot of action with my 15 Barbies...

Michelle said...

oh come on. they were holding out on you! everyone did that!! you're not a pervert :)

eric1313 said...

Everyone above is right, more or less. I'll bet those who pop in below are likewise correct.

Sounds like there was silent eye contact between the other three, daring each other to say something, then they all revelled in the ensuing silence at your expense... Rather that admit to the same exact pervish hijinks!

Keep telling these truths. Writers who lie are not entertaining to anyone but themselves. Fact. We humans are all sex-fiends. Another fact.

Good for you for giving voice to what we all know. Sounds like Ken loved having you as an owner.

(spell checker does not recognize hijinks and wants to change it to hijinks's. Blogger is programed by retarded, drug-addled baboons, apparently)

eric1313 said...

...

...

Maybe Hulkamania ran a little wild a time or two on a few of the sister's barbies...

...

...

But it's not as bad as what they did with the Macho Man Randy Savage.
(snap into a slim jim, ooh yeah!!)

Ashley said...

My one ken doll got a LOT of action from my barbies, and hell, I think so did all the male action figures my brother had as well. I think my parents knew they had a problem on their hands when they'd walk into my room and my barbies and ken never had any clothes on....

brandy said...

Dude, I'm with you. My dolls always got it on. Before I had a Ken, I just dressed up the only Barbie I had with short hair in manly clothes and named her "Brett". Then I got a Ken, and she got to go back to wearing dresses. I thought forcing naked doll contact was a childhood milestone we all had to reach??

Beerspitnight said...

Its funny when remarks are taken the way you expect them to be. Its even worse when that remark leads others to feel, well, normal?!

Dig your site!

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I love it - it just shows how eveolved you were even then...

NamesAreHardToPick said...

HAHA, that was great. Honestly, though, I don't think I ever knew a girl who made her barbies have sex ... or maybe you're just the only honest female about it.

Eve said...

I totally made my Barbies have sex with the one Ken doll. After he sustained fatal injuries, I cut the hair off another Barbie and tried to make her into a guy, but she was just way too obviously feminine.

benjibopper said...

fear not. several of my female friends have told me stories about the sex parties their barbies used to have. you are not alone.

Airam said...

I totally made my barbie's have sex. It's all good.

cdp said...

Holy Lord. I just spit Mello Yello on my screen.

You're the funniest princess ever. I heart you.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

It's okay.

I used to make Lion-O sleep with Mumm-ra

captain corky said...

I had Superhero action figures and of course Superman got with Barbie a couple of times. ;)

Crashdummie said...

omg, I giggled so much that I almost fell from my chair.

Sure, my co-workers looked at me like I was losingit, but ot was totally worth it.

Well I didn't do anything like that. The closest I got beging weird with my dolls are when I used my lil' pony to be She-ra's horse and stopped in the middle of the fights to comb her hair.. my brothers were not amused ;)

the frog princess said...

Your friends are either prudes or liars. Everyone makes their dolls have sex, it's like a rite of passage or something!

Now if you were making your dolls have orgies that would be different.

Wait, I may have done that.

Crap.

libby said...

HAHAHAHAHA. omfg - classic. you crack me right up

Abbey said...

Oh lord, that was awesome. My barbies totally had sex too. Course even then I used to come up with some pretty kinky positions (for a plastic couple that is). (blush). Glad to hear I wasn't the only sex-fein kid.

Mrs4444 said...

um....did Blogger eat my comment here, or did you get it and delete it as I suggested? I had asked about your advice that you left on my blog today. Let me know...thanks. You're welcome to email me instead, if you want to chat about it there; I would appreciate it. bforsberg@new.rr.com