Friday, January 4, 2008

Something must be done to appease the airline deities...

At least that's the impression that three canceled flights have given me.


I was thankful for snow a few days ago, whilst frolicking on crazy carpets and snapping pics of snow-laced trees.
But, snow? You're being a tremendous ass at the moment. You and the airline gods apparently have some vendetta against me.
The deluge of yesterday, though perhaps beautiful, has left me a little bitter.


(I included this picture to show you how our driveway looked a mere couple hours after we shoveled and cleaned off the van)

Because of you, snow, I have been forced to choose an option I hoped never to enter my mind again...

The Greyhound.

My hatred of the Greyhound is near legendary. There are so many reasons this method of transportation is for the dogs (greatest pun ever, if you were wondering):

It only costs a little less than flying, yet takes exponentially longer. This particular trip takes 12 hours when driving only takes 7-8, and flying is just a little over an hour.

It only seems to operate at the most random hours. I arrive, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the BigCity bus depot at 5am tomorrow!

It stops everywhere. Apparently town of 200 a mere 15 minutes down the back road always has a package to be picked up.

Despite regular overnight trips, the bus seats are not meant for sleeping. Even if you are lucky enough to get a full two seats to yourself, the armrest by the window could only be designed by someone who hates Greyhound passengers, because it won't move, and is too low for your head to fit comfortably under, but too high to not wrench out your neck if you try to prop your pillow above it.

The night bus is always full of creeps and weirdos who I am not entirely sure aren't watching me sleep.

Not to mention I have more than paid my Greyhound dues, both in trips home in my undergrad days, and because I actually was foolish enough to travel across Canada in one when I was 18. Forty-four hours straight on one of those monsters will oversaturate anyone.

My first official act as a grad student who wasn't as entirely broke as previously was to make my one luxury avoiding these beasts at all costs. I may not be able to afford a car, but, dammit, I can afford to fly a few times a year.

Unfortunately, the airline gods are laughing at me.

But that's how bad I need to get home.

Anyone feel like sacrificing a goat on my behalf?

36 comments:

ana said...

hahaha I know I am laughing at your misery now, but believe me I have been there and done my bit of hating and cursing the planes and the weather. I hate greyhound too, I only took it once in life and that was enough for me to despise it.

So, I will try getting the weather gods on the phone and see if I can have them help you....on it now...

Psychgrad said...

Oh shit. Greyhound sucks..royally. I don't think I've taken a trip that was longer then 8 hours on the Greyhound, but that was more than enough. Are there no train options? I guess if there were, you would be taking one. Make sure to use your ISIC card.

I guess on the bright side, it's not an overnight bus in Turkey. I took one of those 2 summers ago. Despite the obvious no smoking signs, the bus drivers chained smoked. Completely gross.

lspoon said...

Oh no! That sucks! I hate greyhounds. They should only be used for elementary school field trips.

ttcmb said...

That totally sucks. I also have a hatred of Greyhound. I have had to use it a few times and every time it has broken down in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and we had to wait hours for another one to come get us.

I hope this is the last time you ever have to take it. Have a safe trip!

nicoleantoinette said...

I just did the sacrifice for you, no problem.

Haha, god, imagine if that was true?

Ant said...

Canada's public transport system bamboozles me slightly - I was amazed to discover that the only major train connection running east to west passes through Edmonton and not Calgary. As a result I spent a couple of hour-long trips on the Greyhound bus and shuddered when listening to the stop announcements (overnights, hour-long stops, etc.) with no provision for sleeping at all. I feel your pain.

Jamie Lovely said...

I have never taken a Greyhound trip. It doesn't sound fun though!

brandy said...

Oh you poor girl! Greyhound trips are never as fun as I try to imagine them to be beforehand. Fingers crossed you don't get stuck sitting with a creep- or anyone eating an onion and pastrami sandwich.

Tina Vaziri said...

ew, I'm glad to say I have never used grayhound. When I was younger I did take trains to different places in Europe, but I bet they are not as bad.

I hope the weather clears up soon so you can fly!

Yoda said...

Oh dear. You really have to resort to that? really? How long can you wait for the weather to clear up? I'm sending messages to GoodWeatherGods on your behalf!

And I'm glad to report that I've never been on those ugly beasts that pass off as buses. The closest I ever came to them is while passing them on the highway. Surprisingly, a whole lot of them drive only at 45 mph. :-p

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I can't remember the movie, but in one of them a girl woke up to a guy sucking on her toes....that is what I think of when I think of Greyhound buses.

I can take subways, light rails, trolleys, etc....but I draw the line at buses. They are just creepy (and I'm a guy).

Michelle said...

that sucks A LOT.

and that was the best pun ever.

Valerie said...

My ex-boyfriend and his dad owned a Greyhound station, and oddly enough, it is the building in which I sit right now! It went out of business, and my current employer (who was NOT my current employer then) rented it out. Weird, eh?

thestoryofagirl said...

Seriously, girl. Seriously. I'm in the process of sacrificing 10 goats and a clown. Just for you.

Hope your trip isn't nearly as bad as you're dreading it being. If it is? May I suggest walking next time? Like, I dunno. Pull a Forrest Gump or something. It might take less time. ;-)

Maxie said...

Awwww I'm sorry you have to get on the bus. If I had a private jet I'd totally come get you.

distractedspunk said...

You're scaring me. I have to fly tomorrow. Please don't do that.

Sheila said...

There are so many things about riding a greyhound bus that creep me out -- sends shivers down my spine. Since I have no goat to scrafice, I will send you all the good vibes I can muster!

Take Care and sleep with one eye open!

Clueless Cat said...

ugh, flying when it's snowing is such a bitch...i've had a million unscheduled stopovers in airports because of snow, or missed international connecting flights...!!!

Sorry you have to take the greyhound...luckily i've only taken it once but i think that's the only time i'll ever take it!!

good luck!!

Arielle said...

I'm a frequent Greyhound user but my ride is only 4 hours so not nearly as painful as yours! If I had to take anything longer I'd probably avoid at all costs too!

Maithri said...

I dont have a goat. But will a republican election candidate do? ;)

Im sorry you have to take the greyhound but hopefully you'll wake up to see its actually prince charming who's been watchin you sleep (i know... i know...likely story)

Your writing is so full of wit and humor, your really make me smile.

Sending you peace and unexpected laughter, M

eric1313 said...

Fingers were crossed but it didn't work, huh? No goats around here but millions of sheep. Unfortunately sacrifice is frowned on by the the authorities.

However, I will see if I can have tea with Jesus and find out what's up.

Ahhh... The thunder rolls in the dead of another winter night. I should mind how I speak.

Best of luck to you, though. Busses do suck, all the walking security risks they don't let fly anymore are there with you. I would be nervous, too, and I'm a guy.

And the pun was glorious, by the way! Peace out, my friend.

eric1313 said...

Congratulations on a year of blogging, if not now, then soon it will have been. To many more glorious, thoughtful posts ahead.

Clink!

captain corky said...

One time I sat on a bus going from NYC to NJ and I held my vomit in for an hour. As soon as I got off the bus, Ralphhhhhhhhh.

That was fun....

Tanie said...

Close contact community travel does not apeal to me in the least.....

As a lone female traveller your Greyhound system scares the bejeebees outa me as do the level of your weirdos!!

Over here in the UK I would use the Red Bus system in London as it's fabulously efficient but only serves the city.

PrincessPolly said...

I feel awful for you! I'm not the world's best flier to be honest but I would still prefer it over hours and hours AND HOURS trapped in a coach with a bunch of freakazoids!!!

Beth said...

Oh, poor you. That is truly dreadful. I've done my time on buses and hope never to take one again.
Worse still (for me but hopefully not for you) I cannot read on a bus - makes me "car" sick. And the bathroom facilities...yuck.
Take a sleeping pill to get through it???

Wendy said...

That totally sucks! I've never gone any way close to a Greyhound bus ever and probably never will.

And I was gonna sacrificed a goat for you but those things can RUN. And they're totally sneaky, they're running this way and all of a sudden go the other way. Sorry I couldn't get one for you, would a squirrel be okay?

SMARTBuddy said...

Would you look at that snow! SNOW! Youre so lucky! That looks amazing- more snow in a couple of hours than we'll get all year over here. Sorry... something about a greyhound..?

LeeEeeMuR said...

I hate taking the bus because I have done so many times over the years. I can say I've made the best of it a few times and actually didn't mind the trips. 24 hours between Ontario and Nova Scotia is crazy but my secret is the back seat. It's by the toilet but it normally doesn't smell.(seriously and contrary to certain belief) The secret is there are three seats together so you can stretch out. Best of all if the bus is full you can hop up on the (sometimes dusty) ledge behind the seats and still stretch out. Of course this may only work because I'm short but it's better than the horribly cramped bus seats that dont really recline (even though they have a button for this)

Jocelyn said...

I hope you bought a big bottle of Jim Beam to suck on during the endless ride.

That's how one of my college friends weathered his back-and-forths on the Greyhound from Kentucky to Minnesota every break. And now he's a pricey lawyer in New York City.

So, um, there.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Maybe a dove would be more appropriate?

I'm not sure a goat would do much good.

libby said...

i know what you mean. i always get a crick in my neck on the damn bus.
GAHHH

Barrie said...

The Greyhound creeps me out too. So, I feel your pain. Definitely treat yourself. You know, cheetos, licorice, whatever it takes. :)

Dorky Dad said...

Ack. Sorry you had to go through that.

I have fond memories of the Greyhound myself, especially waiting in the bus terminal in St. Paul, which is right next to the homeless shelter.

People ask you for money there a lot.

eric1313 said...

haha! I have a Google reader (finally!) so I'm waiting to be the first on your new post!

Maybe tonight, maybe not...

But soon!

A Margarita said...

SNOW = PRETTY! I want!

But yes, snow is bad for travelling. Sorry I couldn't help, the weather gods stopped answering my calls when I kept asking them to make it rain on gym days ;)