Monday, March 24, 2008

Princess' Patented Projective Test

I think the way someone eats a chocolate Easter bunny says a lot about them.


Take me, for example. I start from the very bottom, and methodically eat it in vertical stripes, until I reach approximately the neck. At that time, I switch to the ears. Once the ears are done, I nibble around the head, leaving the nose second last, and the eye absolutely last.

I think this is in part a result of my tendency to anthropomorphize everything-- such as my pang of heartbreak when I see an abandoned teddy bear, or a pile of random stuffed animals in the budget bin at Value Village (I have been known to buy random animals, such as a beat-up albino bison, simply because I was afraid that if I didn't buy it, no one would. As I've said before... way too much Velveteen Rabbit as a child).


When you talk to ketchup bottles and lamps, it is easy to see how eating a bunny would feel a little cruel. 

In contrast, the Duke describes his bunny eating strategy as "I go for the kill strike as soon as possible, which you know when you feel the sugary crunch of the eyes against your teeth. I then scavenge the rest over a period of days."

Though, granted, he may be exaggerating a tad for shock value, his bunny is generally decapitated in his first round of gorging. 

When I told him I thought this may be psychologically significant, he told me I was the cruel one, for keeping my bunny conscious as I slowly ate my way up. And here I thought I was being humane!

Seriously, though, ink blot tests are a little passe. 

How about chocolate Easter bunnies as the new projective test?

31 comments:

thestoryofagirl said...

Hehe. Oh, the Duke and his crazy antics.

Seriously though? I don't eat chocolate easter bunnies. Two reasons, 1.) I don't like chocolate that much, and 2.) It feels way to cruel. Like, would I eat a chocolate cat, if there was a holiday for it? No. I wouldn't.

I also named my stuffed animals. And they were always pretty normal names. Like David. Weird, huh? You're not the only one in that boat!

lspoon said...

I'm thinking about puring alcohol into my bunnies...that will totally work right?

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Smash bunny with mallet. Eat.

Then go and buy a chocolate one for dessert.

La said...

I break the whole thing into small pieces and then eat it. Something about bitting off a bunny head or body part is just unsettling to me.

distractedspunk said...

I've never eaten a chocolate bunny. So I don't know what my method would be. I'm trying to think of how I eat animal crackers though. I used to feel that I was killing an animal each time I ate it. Now I just pretend not to be cognizant of what animal it is I'm eating. And these are bite sized pieces. I can't imagine a giant chocolate bunny.

Deutlich said...

I'm the one that takes weeks to finish a bunny like that. I'll nibble here and again, but it really takes me forever.. and sometimes I don't even finish it, opting to throw the remains away.

Hm...

A Margarita said...

Hehe, the roommate and I totally had a conversation yesterday about the significance of starting with the bunny ears vs. the bunny tail, and then we somehow related it to sexual fetishes. . . probably not something I should be admitting on the internet, lol.

Ant said...

I was going to chime in with my instant decapitation strategy too... but I think Toast wins this one! :-)

I am however, also reminded of that scene in Swingers where they are describing how to "kill the bunny".

Psychologically significant indeed.

Jess said...

I have seen like four different versions of that graphic floating around and I never fail to find it hilarious.

I usually start with the ears, I think.

benjibopper said...

i had the same thought as the Duke, much more humane to get it over quick.

antromorphication is an interesting concept. how much of it is projecting our own traits on other beings and how much is just plain empathy?

i just read about the guy who invented the lie detector test. apparently he's been using it to test responses in plants for about 4 decades now, with amazing results, showing scientifically that plants can sense death and danger at a great distance, even to one-celled organisms, tremendous sensitivity despite having literally no brains. accepting his results would certainly chance our concept of consciousness, but of course in its usual conservative fashion the scientific community has completely ignored and/or scorned the guy's experiments. someone else will get the same results after he dies and then maybe they'll be accepted.

cdp said...

I'm quite similar in that I anthropomorphize everything. Like, when I use up all of my "good" hangers on my favorite shirts, I wonder if the other shirts get their feelings hurt because they just get a crappy old wire hanger.

Yeah. Hi. My name is Cindy and I am C-to-the-RAZY.

Trish Ryan said...

I watched the sweetest little girl annihilate a chocolate bunny on Easter, so you may be onto something...this may be better than Meyers-Briggs for identifying our true selves :)

Z said...

hahaha, never analyzed my chocolate-bunny eating habits before... will have to make note the next time I do!

EF said...

I go from the ears down- must have to do with my own erogenous zone...

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I agree with the Duke.

I remember asking people about this once, and they was nuts when I told them I behead the bunny first.

But I always have. Same with gingerbreadmen and jellybabies.

Katelin said...

i definitely go for the ears first. and then i don't really know what else. it's been a while since i've had a chocolate bunny.

Lisa said...

I object to the rabbit eating. Evil westerners. Bring back the ink blots!

I'm the same way with stuffed toys. I always fought with my parents whenever they washed mine and hung them by their ears. I asked them How woud YOU feel is someone hung YOU by YOUR EARS? Adults are cruel.

Psychgrad said...

I break of pieces to try to impose some form of self control. Each break depends on the previous one. Unfortunately, the breaking of a piece is rarely an effective technique since I don't believe the lie that completing my chunk means that my share of the bunny (for the moment) is complete.

Libby said...

you are so onto something!! i'd totally be a guinea subject for your test run, btw!

ps miss you and i'm so sorry for being so awol!!

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Benji: That's some wackt sh*t.

Imagine if you could cross pollenate plants with humans. You could develop a real life spidey sense.

brookem said...

Im the same way as you! Same with the stuffed animals too... I hate seeing lonesome ones at random stores.

I even feel bad for cheerios. CHEERIOS! I have to eat them in pairs and not leave one in the bowl by itself on it's own. Hmm. Yeah, The Crazy never reallyquiets down.

Sheila said...

That would make for and interesting study... I myself break it up into bite size pieces to enjoy whenever I want some. What does that say about me??

Michelle & the City said...

i always bite their ears off :)

Yoda said...

I have stewed actual bunnies. And I have a particularly largish mouth. I wouldn't be surprised if I just swallowed these choco bunnies whole.

Take that for your projective test!

poodlegoose said...

Hmmm... you know, I can't remember the last time I ate a chocolate shaped anything. I still have my big Hershey's kiss from Valentine's day. Usually, I try to bite off the top and then leave everything else until it spoils and I have to throw it away. Bunnies? I usually take a chunk out and then leave it for the trash. I wonder what that means...

Silverstar said...

I always eat the eyes first..hmm chocolate bunny eyeballs..*drool*. :P

Stephanie said...

I have to say, Miss Princess, I have never heard of anyone eating from the bottom up! I thought Ears First was the standard Easter bunny eating protocol! Aaand, now I want some chocolate, preferably of the Easter bunny variety.

eric1313 said...

Ears first, of course. They're just easiest to break off. Then the head.

I feel terrible now--like the Pol Pot of chocolate easter bunnies...
=(

I read these and didn't comment? How atrociously poor-mannered of I to have done so.

Pippi said...

I've seen that bunny pic before and absolutely LOVE it. It's weird, I have no problem whatsoever with eating meat, but when it's an animal shaped out of chocolate I'm reluctant to take a bite. My sister once gave me jelly lollipops in the shape of Winnie the Pooh characters and I could never bring myself to eat them - I felt too evil!

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

You should melt chocolate bunnies down, and then interpret the chocolate puddles/drippings.

Valerie said...

Oh my God, I always want to cry when I see an abandoned stuffed animal.