Saturday, March 1, 2008

Quotes of the day

A few snippets from my past few days...

The Scene: Making a salad.

The quote:"Is it even possible to unwrap a long english cucumber without it looking dirty?"

***
The Scene: A fellow grad student brought her *adorable* baby to a meeting. 

The quote: "He makes my womb tingle."

***

The Scene: Watching late night TV, when we come across yet another Maury special on "I don't know which of the five men I work with is the father of my triplets".

Me: "If we have a kid, let's name him Maury."

The Duke: "No, let's name him Murray."

Me: "Oh no! That means he's destined to have a mustache!"

***

I am still officially MIA, unfortunately. Don't let these snippets fool you. I'm just on a self-imposed 15 minute break from my exciting Saturday of mad essay-tizing and report writing (which, sadly, also defined my Friday night.  Who says your 20s aren't about debauchery and irresponsibility?)

Also, despite the preponderance of quotes regarding children, my biological clock is not actually in hyper-speed. I'm having a hard time remembering to buy toilet paper at the moment, so the notion of another living being's well-being in my hands is more than a little disconcerting.

28 comments:

Surfergrrl said...

womb, what womb? do i have one of those?

Tia said...

haha i LOVE when chicks don't know who their babydaddy is. it's literally my favorite subject matter on talk shows. what does that say about me? i dunno. =)

stay classy, america.

distractedspunk said...

Oh dear. You crack me up. I always think that about cucumbers. Really. Wednesday night date!

PrincessPolly said...

I can barely look after myself, the idea of me looking after another human being is just preposterous!

sequined said...

Oh God, I can't even keep track of application deadlines (and thus missed applying for a grad program I wanted), so having a baby strikes me as wildly not in the cards right now. Oh GOD. Though I do coo over them on the bus.

brookem said...

ha, thanks for a little sneak peak of you while you're on hiatus!

Good luck with things!

lspoon said...

Maury is better then Springer. The best Maury shows are the fat baby shows. Those kids are so cute, it's too bad their lives will be shortened.

Ant said...

So my dear princess - how exactly are you cleaning your bottom these days then?

I saw Maury on my first visit to the states and fell in love with it immediately. I ended up writing an extended post (alas, in my old blog) about the episode that I saw:

"The results are in... you are NOT the father!" shouts Maury, for eight consecutive potential daddies. Each time the crowd, plus potential-dad, would go crazy with celebration. Then they would repeat the whole skit again into a montage with music...

I laughed until a little bit of wee came out.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

pp: I've been told by friends that the biological clock crept up on them, so watch out!

Maxie said...

I love the one about "womb tingling"

hilarious.

thestoryofagirl said...

You are so lucky! I can't even get my guy to say the "m" word now, and here you are thinking about names, outloud, with your's!

Carrie said...

I love those paternity test ones... it seems that every other Maury episode is Paternity or Freak Show.

Beth said...

Even while officially MIA, you still manage to produce a funny post. Great snippets.
Now - back to those damn essays and reports!

Katana said...

... it makes my womb tingle...

that one is kinda cute :-)

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

The womb tingling was definitely hilarious.

As for the "m" word....Meat?

chasinglibby said...

i have this vague memory of maury being a classy, reputable talk show. but no. i think it's always been trash and i never realized it.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahaha I totally know what you mean, everytime I see babies- I want to steal them. Straight kidnap.

A Margarita said...

"He makes my womb tingle."

Lol, I'm with you. The only thing that makes my womb tingle are cute puppies.

Yoda said...

For nearly 10 yrs of my life, I had a mustache! Yuck.

S'Mat said...

that comment about cucumbers makes my moustache tingle...
and as for baby-clock denial, nobody said anything... methinkth she doth proteth too much...?

ana said...

Hahaha you crack me up.

Katelin said...

Haha, I love the cucumber comment.So true though.

Miriam D said...

hahaha my fav is the cucumber one.

hope you are done essay-tizing soon. miss you!

cdp said...

It's not possible to even WRITE about unwrapping a cucumber without it looking dirty.

Which is why I love cucumbers.

Michelle & the City said...

HAHA. cucumbers will always make me think dirty thoughts. it's pretty much unavoidable.

Sheila said...

Oh PP, you crack me up! Womb tingle, Hmm? I did have my first at the young age of 25, but I wasn't trying to get my PHD either. You should definitely wait if you can!

All Mod Cons said...

I must confess that a "tingling womb" makes me feel a little ill...

eric1313 said...

Better a cucumber than a zuchinni!

yes, I doubt I could spell zuchinni without the aid of a spell checker.

I always thought that the name Montel beat the snot out of Muary, Springer and Murray, for that matter. And me? I hvae not only a 'stache, but the entire goatee and thin jawline beard/chinstrap enchilada.

Macho, macho man. I've got to be...

And if wombs tingle for you women, then the guy equivalent is the tingly prostate. But for different reasons.

OMG, I did not just type that...

OMG, I am not about to hit publish uinder my neame...

OMG! My word verification is "phemosa". Weirdness abounds on this hoppy easter!