Two stories to prove my classiness

In an attempt to verse my mother in big-city multicultural life, I took her to an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant around the corner from my place. With the menus placed in front of us, I may have went a little crazy with the checklist, ordering us a cornucopia of rolls, noodles and other dishes. As the first appetizers arrived, we ate at a frenzied pace; however, as the trays continued docking, we gradually slowed, until our eating tempo halted completely... with an array of full dishes still in front of us.

Bolded letters on the menu reminded us that "Wasted food will be charged on the bill at regular prices."

And this is where I had the opportunity to demonstrate to my mother the true skills I learned in the city. In stealth fashion, each time a server turned the corner away from us, I would drop a piece of sushi into the napkin spread in my lap. After a few pieces, the napkin was wrapped around the random pieces of food, and I shuttled them to the bathroom garbage, where I gathered more paper towel for wrapping purposes. There is no greater display of class than smuggling paper towel wrapped sushi out of a restaurant in your purse with your mother.

***

Last night, as a large group of us sat around my friend's living room in a turkey induced daze, a fellow dashed into the room with a purple egg shaped electronic device in hand.

"This thing is amazing!" he proclaimed. "You pick any item, and it asks you twenty yes or no questions about it. It will seriously figure it out. It actually got poutine!"

Sure enough, this device had some serious psychic powers. As we grew more astonished by its powers, we also grew more dirty (note- many, many glasses of wine were had at this point). After it guessed "panties" correctly, it was decided that we would determine whether it could identify a certain part of the female anatomy.

We giggled while replying to its questions, such as "Is it usually exposed outdoors?"

After twenty questions, the red letters flashed on the screen-- "I know what it is!"

We all peer over the holder's shoulders expectantly.

"You are thinking of pussy!"

Seriously.

The children's toy said pussy.

The Twenty Questions Electronics Game by Mattel-- keeping drunken perverts entertained for decades.