Wednesday, December 2, 2009

On keeping on breathing

I always have the best of intentions.

I really don't want to put anyone through the tedium that is complaining about being overwhelmed. Complaining about stress is so brutally cliched, like saying that you aren't good with names, procrastinate sometimes or don't always get enough sleep.

Everyone is stressed and nobody is actually good with names.

I'm fully intending to act as though I am 100% content, to practice what I preach, per se, by not letting the stress determine my actions. I'm acting happy to try to convince my body that I really am happy.

I'm drawing smiley faces on foggy windows. I'm humming made up songs. I secretly tap my toes in my shoes when riding the bus. I randomly buy butternut squashes on sale for extraordinary cooking plans. I'm overusing exclamation points in my text messages.

These things help, in their own little way. Any of these beat moping around. I can't handle being lazy for that long, anyhow. Unproductivity doesn't suit me. Another cliche has proven true- yoga has been a life saver. It turns off my thoughts pretty thoroughly, which, trust me, is a miraculous feat.

It's not even that I'm at all depressed. It's just that my brain can't keep up with everything that is going on. A lot of it, in fact, is kick-up-your-heels good news-- internship interviews, weddings-- there's just so damn much of it. Looking at my summer, I just wanted to hyperventilate. What do you mean I'm a bridesmaid twice and I have to move myself and my boyfriend to separate locations across the continent all in the period of a month and a half? Even my mom, the queen of acceptance, in an email yesterday told me "You are such a busy girl, it is just the way of your life at this time, but I am sure you sometimes want to pull your hair out."

Yes, it may be tempting to grab the roots and yank sometimes, but instead, I will drink tea and watch too much Food Network.

Oh yeah, and breathe.


Evie Stewart said...

We all have moments that totally suck. I guess that's so when we're experiencing a non-sucky moment, we have a basis of comparison.


Ant said...

I am awesome with names. Scares the living crap out of people that I've briefly met once I can tell you.

However, busy-ness, especially at this time of year can be overwhelming. The thought to focus on is that at some point in the future, it will all be over, and I'll be able to relax, sipping cocktails (or whatever puts you in a happy place) and recharge. No matter how much it feels like it right now, it won't be like this forever.

TMC said...

This all sounds SO familiar. Right down to the tea and FoodNetwork.

So see, you're not the only one. :)

Anonymous said...

It's times like what you're describing when I need to remind myself to do some 'happy gestures.' It's easy to get caught up in everything and not allow yourself to be positive.

I usually get depressed around the holidays... not really sure why.

Mandy said...

Wine helps too! That is a lot to deal with and honestly, I cannot imagine. Yes, my life gets hectic, but I'm not moving, interviewing, or in weddings. Just don't forget to breathe, thats the most important thing.

P.T said...

Well what you need is to take a day off and sleep in! That'll do you good and put that spring back in your step and make you really appreciate all the 'hectic' stuff in your life... :)

choochoo said...

just don't breath while you're drinking tea. You don't want to be known as 'that girl who drowned by inhaling earl grey' by those people who aren't good with names.

gemma said...

ujjayi breath.
it really does help. heart!

Louise | said...

Yeah, the title of your post is so appropriate.
This is what the holidays is all about. On keeping on breathing... relaxing with the family. :)