Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Does this seem a little excessive to you?

This is a legal reminder/ warning that no bicycles are to stores* on your balcony.
Please review your "Residential Tenancy Agreement".

20. Storage
"Bicycles. Bicycles are to be stored in the designated area only. A bicycle must not be kept, left, or stored on a balcony or in a hallway and must not be moved through a lobby or hallway or be placed in an elevator."
**

All tenants with bicycles on their balconies have until Wednesday February 21st, 2007*** by 6:00pm to remove your bicycles. If you do not comply, you will be given a 30 day eviction notice.
Having your bicycles on your balcony is a breach of contract that you signed with Take-Itself-Too-Seriously-For-The-Shithole-That-It-Is-Apartments****. This is a reminder to all, and will not be tolerated again.

Sincerely,

Apartment Owner who has never set foot on the premises for all I know*****

* Typos included to emphasize professionalism

** The designated area they speak of is in a locked smelly storage room in the basement with individual combination locks on each locker. Not exactly the epitome of accessibility.

*** I received this notice at 5pm on Tuesday the 20th, which gives people approximately 24 hours leeway before eviction. Heaven forbid they are out of town and come back to find an eviction notice on their door due to a rogue bicycle.


**** Name altered to protect my identity.

***** Also Apartment Owner who refuses to authorize turning up the boiler despite the entire building freezing and complaing for months on end. We should have gave him 24 hours notice before we filed a complaint with the Tenancy Office.


Rumour has it they are looking to clear out suites because they can get a lot more in rent than what they can legally charge us with limits on annual increases.

Very very happy I am moving out in May.

7 comments:

psychgrad said...

I don't get it...Why does it matter if you have a bicycle on your balcony?

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

For sure.

Sounds like a pain in the behind. Roll on may.

soleclaw said...

Do we live in the same apartment community?!

I've received many silly and overly excessive warnings about storage since living in my apartment. Of course, none of them were personal, but just general notices on the bulletin. Eviction does seem a tad steep though! At least you have an indoor storage option for your bike. The bike-owners here have to store them in a covered outdoor bike rack, like the ones outside of libraries and schools. Not conducive to keeping bikes rust-free in the winter and rain.

Princess Pointful said...

Psychgrad- Neither do I. They enforce forgotten rules here at random intervals to remind us that management does exist or something.

Ultra- You better believe it! I've actually been hankering to move for nearly two years, but numerous circumstances have kept that from being the reality (namely, as a grad student, there's only once or twice a year that it is even plausible to generally consider moving, particularly when you are car-less like me).
Side note- I'm totally impressed that I used hankering in a sentence.

Soleclaw- Thanks for dropping by! I would be inclined to think so if it weren't for the whole opposite sides of the continent thing!
That is ridiculous, though- having to keep them outside- I bet a number have gotten snagged.

cinemec said...

You probably don't want to hear this but there is a chance it has something to do with fire regulations. I'm off to shoot myself now for being such a polygon with four equal sides and four right angles. It isn't suicide… it's a mercy killing.

Princess Pointful said...

Cinemec-- And have fun best planning how to file your taxes.
Truthfully, I wouldn't have had a problem if they'd said a thing about fire regulations on the letter or had even mentioned the issue before.
(actually, I don't even have a bike. But they got mad at my "clutter" before, which consisted of two chairs, and perhaps a box and a rubbermaid container. Unless my bird feeder offended them.

Deutlich said...

I hate basement storage units. I always fear some creepo is hiding down there ready to kidnap me.

Paranoid? Me? Who?