Imposter Syndrome claims another victim

I'm still not entirely convinced I haven't been fooling everyone all along.
Myself included.

All my life, I've been "the smart one." It has become family legend how young I learned to read. My sister and I were unnecessarily dichotimized as "the smart one" and "the pretty one". All pretty nonsensical with a little hindsight- she was on the Honour Roll, and we have been mistaken for twins for close to ten years. However, whether by self-fulfilling prophecy or some sliver of reality, we began enacting these roles. She took up modelling and I started college when I was 17.

Still, every once in a while, I get the impression that I am part of this elaborate charade. I know I'm smart... but I'm not sure I'm as gifted as people's images would have me be. In Grade 12, I pulled off the award for top student, when everyone expected it to go to another fellow better known for his studiousness (see, another made up word!). For the longest time, I felt this weird guilt over it, as though I had cheated somehow or it was a massive mistake-- which made no sense because it was simply based on grades.

However, where Imposter Syndrome runs most rampant is, as you can guess, is in my newfound duties as a psychologist-in-training. While I've been challenging myself like mad over the past few years, sometimes my occasional apathy makes me feel like I don't deserve to be where I am. Other times, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, I wonder if any of this will feel at all natural. Today I went to an informal consultation type thing being led by a very prestigious practitioner and researcher-- and while discussing one of my cases with him, I was somehow led into therapy role playing with him in front of a group of grad students. While most of it seemed to go reasonably well, I kept on worrying that this was going to be the time that they all realized that, while I may write a good paper, I lack all natural talent as a therapist. After all, are there really any safeguards to stop those lacking talent but look good on paper from getting this far?*

*Okay, logically, there are. I do get a lot of supervision and did a full-time practicum. I still think I may have fooled them too with my eagerness and my lovely professional outfits.

**This is not a subtle ruse to obtain reassurance... besides, most of you haven't the slightest clue whether I actually have any therapeutic skills at all!