Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Strike One against Over-analyzing!

It can't come as too much of a surprise, if you've read much of my blog, that I have a wee bit (read- huge whopping!) tendency towards overthinking things. It is both a blessing and a curse... perhaps a blessing in terms of the field I've found myself, but often a curse in my interpersonal life.

As revealed in a recent episode (I also like to pretend I am a star of a TV show....), last year, I ended a long-term relationship. I would rather not get into details, as I have a lot of respect for him, and am rather proud of the fact that it was actually a relatively painless break-up (well, as painless as such things can be) and we have genuinely managed to stay friends, though not overly close. More like chatting on the phone or going for coffee once or twice a month.

Anyways, I have also since began involved in another relationship. I decided to keep this on the downlow for a little while, in order to try to minimize people's tendencies to assume that this new relationship was at all related to the ending of my last one (the long and short of it was that the two are truly mutually exclusive-- my relationship had been dying a slow death for over a year), as well as to spare any hurt feelings for my ex. It became clear that he was experiencing a little ambivalence over the end of our relationship.

As my relationship with the rather lovely new fellow became more serious, I began enacting stupidly complex techniques to avoid hurting the ex's feelings. I kept my profile on myspace as single because I felt that was a cruel way for him to find out. I set up some sort of neurotic schedule to inform him that I was genuinely moving on. I had already enacted stage one-- telling him I was casually dating again-- and he was hurt, which led to a delay in stage two.

And, today, how do I find out he's in a relationship?
Why, via MySpace, of course!

Damn. Neuroticism and worrying fail me again!
I really need to start making self-interest more of a guiding principle!

... though this does mean that I can finally throw discretion out the window. Wooo!


LMizzle said...

I over think as well. Guilty as charged!

I like your new relationship. You are good together and I haven't seen him this happy in a long time.

Plus, we became friends, and that's just a fucking BONUS!!!

Princess Pointful said...

I like my new relationship a whole lot, too :). That is very sweet of you to say.
But that is all secondary to the LMizzle/Princess connection!!!

Tonya said...

Yay! Finally!

psychgrad said...

That's really nice of you to consider your exe's feelings... At least now you don't have to avoid the issue.

Okami said...

I'm just as guilty for overthinking.

But so glad to hear that you new relationship is going so well - the last time I was in Vancouver was months and months ago - and even then he could never seem to mention your name without smiling.

Princess Pointful said...

Overthinkers unite!!! That's probably half the reason we have blogs in the first place...

Tonya- Now you won't have to deal with anymore long-winded emails on the topic!

Psychgrad- Thanks :). Though I sometimes get mad at myself for being such a doormat, this revelation makes my life a whole lot easier!

Okami- Thanks for stopping by, and for the lovely words. Hearing that certainly makes me smile!