Monday, May 7, 2007

Desperately seeking a little grace

My clumsiness is nearing epic proportions.

At small levels, this lack of coordination makes for some entertaining stories, and might even be considered a little endearing.

Take the day that I couldn't manage to get a single drop of coffee to my mouth. Was it because I had no money, or perhaps because of the boil water advisory that shut down some coffee shops this winter?
Of course not... it's because I knocked the first cup into the garbage can with my purse while getting sugar, and then, while managing to carry the second cup all the way to my office, promptly spilt the entirety of it over my desk.

As I've theorized before, it could be that my brain is overflowing with random facts (I have an insane memory for random details, as well as those more related to my field in general) which push out basic coordination. Seriously, though, I find it difficult to drink coffee while walking, and am utterly distracted by the difficult task of putting one foot in front of the other if I am carrying more than one bag. Growing up in a city built up the slopes of a mountain, my friends used to take bets in the winter of how many times I would tumble on a walk.

These tendencies have somehow been further emphasized by my new apartment. Part of it is the clutter (which has almost disappeared, thankfully), and part of it is that my reflexes have not adapted to my new environment. As such, I am running into corners, bonking my head, and dropping things at increasingly high rates. I managed to smash a glass cutting board yesterday and a picture frame today. People don't even respond to crashing sounds, followed by a string of profanities in the other room anymore.

So how does one go about honing such skills? Do I take up juggling or tightrope walking? Or do I just accept my life of random bruises?

12 comments:

Eve said...

I go through phases like that too. I think it's related to mental discombobulation, or something like that. Like, you're doing one thing and thinking about another. I think meditation and some kind of focused exercise help, like yoga, running, or something that will help with balance and concentration. Oh, and not getting enough sleep doesn't help.

psychgrad said...

I like that...mental discombobulation. I don't know what to do to fix the problem. Growing up I walked into things and the doctor told my mom to give me 3 bananas a day...Maybe it's potassium problem.

chris said...

i'm going to go out on a limb and suggest piano lessons

completely irrelevant and random, but you never know

Airam said...

I have to agree with Eve on this one. Also try to rub your tummy and tap your head at the same time. If you can do that then I got nothing.

SMARTBuddy said...

Yeah juggle. Then while youre learning, dropping things is normal, so you wont feel so bad.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Take up a musical instrument.

It keeps both the left and right sides of the brain active, improving co-ordination and memory.

Ant said...

Audition for a part in a Looney Tunes cartoon. Make sure you always have a plentiful supply of cardboard placards that read "Eep" or "Bonk!" and always keep a ready supply of tweety-birds handy to circle round your head at the appropriate moment.

It won't improve your clumsiness but at least you can earn a bit of extra cash off it...

Beth said...

Do NOT take up tightrope walking.

I think you'd better accept this trait as endearing and let it go at that...

tonya said...

OMG! I'm the same exact way. I drop makeup daily. I can't even tell you how many times I drop my toothbrush in the sink which has soapy suds. Murphy's Law. I hate Murphy!

iFreud said...

I get clumbsy when it is that time of the month, and when I gain or lose weight. It is wierd... normally I don't bump into things or drop them, but I wonder if my spatial abilities need to be recalibrated when I experience changes in my hormones. Just a thought...

LMizzle said...

I think you may just have to wear a snow suit to...well... EVERYWHERE.

Princess Pointful said...

Eve- Agreed. Though I think it is a personality trait of sorts, it is probably a little psychosomatic, too. I've been thinking of getting back to doing pilates again.

Psychgrad- Potassium, eh? Any clue of anything other than bananas?

Chris- You hit on another major character flaw of mine-- no musical talent whatsoever. Two birds, one stone!

Airam- I can do that! Maybe I'm not a completely lost cause!

Smartbuddy- All about changing my standards, I guess.

Ultra Toast- See my comment to Chris. I haven't picked up a musical instrument since the god-awful recorder (which is dubious in its musical instrument status)

Ant- I could also use my love for made up words... like Splwhack and Twoolsh!

Beth- I'm glad someone here is concerned for my safety!

Tonya- Me too! All my good eye shadows are shattered! How on earth do you surf, then?

iFreud- Something to pay attention to, at the very least...

Lmizzle- Let's bring the snowsuit back... just to spare me further embarassment of being a fashion reject when I roll down a hill in one.