Haunting monotony

Over the past week, my nights have been disrupted by these odd, nonsensical, repetitive dreams. By virtue of their nonsensical-ness, they are a little difficult to articulate, but I will give it a shot. Essentialy, from what I can tell, they involve the same situation being repeated over and over again. Even worse is I will wake up, clear my head and try to distract myself... only to fall back into the exact same dream when I drift back to sleep, as though it has been playing in an endless loop, even when I managed to escape from it for a little while. The activities themselves are totally banal- last night I believe it was trying to catch the same express bus I catch every day... but it kept driving by. However, the inability to achieve the seemingly most basic of goals is infinitely frustrating while in my dream state, and when I wake up, I often find my dopey mind trying to create ways to successfully reach this goal, as though if I can only catch that bus, I will be spared this neverending repetition that seems to prevent my sleep from refreshing me at all.

(It didn't help that, due to his lack of a clothesline, the Duke had t-shirts on hangers strewn about on all the pushpins on his wall to try to dry the shirts, so when I woke up, it looked as though eerie swaying-- the fan was going-- cardboard cut-outs were watching me toss and turn)

I remember these dreams from my teenage years. They would often be most prominent when I began a new job. For instance, it would endlessly be closing time at the store where I was working as a cashier. Just as I had finished the cash count, and everyone was locking up... one more customer would run in, and we would have to get everything running again. As soon as they went through, we would go to close down again... only to have another customer run in. And this would go on for seemingly the entire night.

The oddest thing about this latest sequence is that they come outside of the frame of any tremendous change, or even attempts at memorization (these dreams can accompany frantic attempts at learning, as well). I am a little ambivalent about working on some of my projects lately, since I know I won't get feedback for months, yet am too guilt-ridden to stop working. I may have to think about how symbolism of missing the bus may play into that...