Thursday, August 16, 2007


You know that your Princess-related curiousity has gotten the better of you and you want some more...

#17 - I'm a noted sleeptalker. Thankfully, this primarily displays itself in muffled mumblings-- though, in high school, I apparently once spoke of feeding a crush fruit. While sleeping in a room with his ex-girlfriend.

#18 - Fitting with the sleeptalking, I also have been known to enact particularly vivid dreams. One time when dreaming I was trying to avoid getting thrown out of a wrestling ring, my friend reported that I was reaching above my head and shouting no, which fit with my memories of frantically grasping the top rope.

Once, when dreaming about driving down a dark street, I awoke to find myself crouched at the end of my bed, hands grasping at the frame, and feet stuck through the slats. It took me some time to overcome the panic of the disappearance of the back of my seat and the gas and brake pedals.

I don't have it as bad as the rest of my family, however. It is now family legend how my aunt, while asleep, locked herself in a closet and pounded on the door while screaming for Kraft Dinner.

#19 - Speaking of family... one of my father's most prominent quirks, which I now find endearing, but was especially embarassing when I was younger, was his propensity to offer my friends (or, in one case, my brand new boyfriend) prime pickings from a plate of edible flowers.

#20 - When it comes to things of great importance, I am incredibly responsible. In my many years of school, I have never missed a deadline or asked for an extension on a project. I am also notorious for remembering friend's birthdays. However, when it comes to the little things, I am shamefully scatterbrained. I cannot ever seem to prepare fully for a regular day's work, leaving behind my water bottle, chap stick, that day's notes, a crucial article, or even my lunch as I dash for the door. Just today, I strolled over to a nearby coffee shop to work on a manuscript. I ordered a latte, sat down, set up my laptop... then realized that I had left my USB stick with the entire paper on it in another purse. I had to ask the barista to keep my latte behind the counter as I dashed back home. (Unfortunately, the redheaded construction worker who resembled CarrotTop by my house seemed to think that my passing him three times in fifteen minutes was my subtle way of scoping him out.)

#21 - One of my earlier goals, wedged between my goals of being a writer and being an actress, was to become the first woman hockey player in the NHL. I practiced taking slapshots agaisnt the wall of my house and prattled off hockey stats with my father. While that may sound endearing, it becomes substantially more ridiculous when you take into consideration that I could barely stay afoot on a pair of ice skates.
Besides, Manon Rheaume quickly beat me to the punch.

#22 - To what was likely the massive chagrin of my parents, I completed the transition from gawky girl to full-on teenager in the period of one summer month before entering Grade 9. Up until that point, I'd been fairly awkward, wore enormous t-shirts tucked into my jeans, didn't have the slightest clue how to wear make-up, style my hair, or how to interact with the opposite sex. I was always the geeky sidekick to my more experienced and stylish friends, some of whom were particularly invested in keeping me in that role.

And such it came, that when one such friend left town for a week, I quickly engaged in all the beauty routines I had only heard of. I shaved my legs, plucked my eyebrows, learned to apply mascara, dyed my hair, and began buying clothes that actually fit. It was though with this change of appearance, understanding of how to interact with boys developed naturally. Overwhelmed by my sudden power, I frolicked in my newfound "boyfriends", and embarked in a number of two week long "relationships", which would inevitably end when one of them would try to grope me in some surprising manner.

#23 - Foreshadowing my current caffeine addiction, in my early teenage years, I kept a jar of instant coffee in the same drawer as other secret items, such as my diary and overdramatic attempts at poetry. When my parents were away, my girl friends and I would secretely boil water and chug back the foul brew, and then run amock in our perceived caffeine buzz, ever vigilent to the sound of my parents car returning that would signal the time to dump the rest of our cup down the drain.

#24 - As the result of seven years of university tuition paid solely on my own, I still have yet to own my first car. I no longer have the teenage dreams of the wind flowing through my hair as I cruise in my brand new convertible. I've accepted that I will likely be Dr. Princess before I am Car Owner Princess, and by that point my first car will probably be something boringly practical-- though hopefully I will not quite be in station wagon territory.


An aside... I'm headed on holiday with the guy for a little over a week on Saturday. Updates from my escape from the city to come!


Joie said...

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Ant said...

You're such a diverse and interesting person! All that feminine stuff, then there's hockey slapshots thrown in for good measure... :-)

Sleep-talking is one of my greatest fears - I'm not sure what dark secrets I've got to hide but I'm petrified that I'll somehow be rumbled by giving out my PIN number whilst unconscious or something...

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

17 and 18 made me laugh pretty hard. I hope you don't have any dreams about skydiving or hulking out.

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Your parents didn't let you use caffeine? Wow!

captain corky said...

After reading this post I'm suddenly starving for a plate full Of Kraft Mac-n-flowers. ;)

Have a great time on your trip. ;)

Yoda said...

You had a very eventful time growing up :-) Your parents didn't let you have caffeine, but made you eat flowers instead? Yikes!

Keep your hopes up for the car. I didn't think I would be able to buy one too, but I dug in and saved some money during my first & second yrs in grad school .... entering third year I could actually afford a used car which wouldn't fall apart in little pieces!

brandy said...

Oh you make me giggle. I love the idea that you called your two week stints of dating as 'relatioships', - I did the exact same thing. I would even have my girlfriends over to discuss 'relationship problems'. Um, yeah. In grade 9 the only relationship problem you should be having is that you are calling it a relationship when the only thing you do together is hold hands waiting for the bus. Ahhh, youth.

cdp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cdp said...

You're too funny. I didn't figure out all that stuff about how not to be awkward until around my senior year of high school, I don't think. Just in time to bolt off to college where there were plenty of boys, and plenty of booze. GREAT timing on my part, no?

Great story about the hidden coffee, and I hear you on the drawbacks of a student budget. Although I must say, I think Dr. Princess suits you quite well!

libby said...

i too have a knack for remember friends' bdays...and never missing a deadline!!

Michelle said...

have fun on vacation! everybody seems to be going on vacation lately. so jealous!

eric313 said...

Have fun on the vacation. Your scatterbraininess remnds me of my friend Michelle. She's a PhD in Creative writng, and willingly admits forgetting her stories, poem and lunch every other time she leaves for work. But I can't bame her or you. You have huge drives; one really can't expect you to be a master of the mundane.

Like that?

That's why I need at least the MA. In English; useless to most, but I will use it to scourge the world with my overdramatic poetry.

btw-there's nothing wrong with ovver dramatic attempts at poetry. That's how everyone starts. And the drama is an attraction, really. If it wasn't actually attractive, there'd be less drama queens. In theory.

Take care, it's bedtime over here, I to will be gone for a week and a half, familly weddings, bachelor parties and hanging with my dad and checking out MSU. (I'll make ways to post, damnit, and get a few pre posts ready for the quick edit and release) Yep, I might become a world famous party animal Spartan--as they say in Lansing, sparty on, dude!

I mean, Princess!

Dorky Dad said...

I'm totally with you on the one about being responsible for important stuff but not for non-important stuff. I'm exactly like that and it drives me bananas.