Friday, September 7, 2007

Wealthy men... have I got an opportunity for you!

Wealthy men...

... are you tired of spending your money on cars and houses?

... do feel like helping those less fortunate that you?

... are you disappointed that starving African orphans aren't visually stimulating enough?

... do you feel that you can't see concrete enough evidence of your money's impact when you donate to vague causes like homelessness, education, or animal welfare?

... would you like to be able to take the time to get to know the people you are helping, and decide who is most worthy of your generousity?

If you answered "yes" to the above questions, then do I have an opportunity for you!



My Free Implants is the perfect opportunity for you to rid yourself of some excess currency while aiding women cursed enough to have been born with too small breasts.

You can browse our website to hear the tales (and, of course, see the photos) of these poor women, who lack the funds to enhance their mammories themselves. Once you've chosen a worthy recipient (or recipients, if you are feeling particularly philanthropic!), as an official benefactor, you can not only donate to their worthy cause, but engage in live chat with them, as well as receive custom photos and videos (for which you can request special outfits!).

How's that for the donation that gives back? Letters from foster children have nothing on custom videos (and vague other "interactive activities") from these grateful ladies!

Visit our website to hear about success stories, including the inspiring tale of how Morgan was able to achieve her dream of E-cup breasts.

We hope you will find it in your heart to join My Free Implants, and use your wealth to help improve these ladies confidence and self-esteem.*

* Science proves that self-esteem is inextrically tied in to breast size
Check out this highly scientific equation: Bigger boobs = bigger confidence!

20 comments:

Beth said...

Well, this is certainly a cause that would make those wealthy men open the coffers. Immediate feedback and gratification - visual, physical and mental...
(Wonder how many of them would fall for this or at least check out the "worthy" web site?)

cdp said...

Oh.

My.

Gawd.

All Mod Cons said...

I'm in.

I'd LOVE to have breast implants.

I'd keep them in a box beside my bed.

eric1313 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eric1313 said...

Wowsa! That's crazy.

Is this your idea?

Either way, you are now a pioneer writer with a provocative subject that everybody wants to get their hands on--on many levels, of course, and across both genders.

Did you write this? It's briliant intellectual property. Many would think it's a great idea and actually do it if they knew of the idea. You could do nothing and reap their rewards. And deserve it.

Princess of the Universe said...

I would so love to donate some of what I have. Not money of course, but excess breastage...I could do with losing a cup size or 2...

Ant said...

Ah, the beautiful truth behind that equation, the kind which the ancient Greeks were searching for, brings a tear to my eye...

What if you only donate enough for three breasticles? Is having one "done" and one "unfinished" in vogue these days?

Yoda said...

Now there's a good cause which makes me wanna get rich :-) Think of all the good I'll cause by "upgrading" thousands of women to 36DD. ;-) LOL!

Michelle said...

seriously?! seriously!

There is a website devoted to this?

captain corky said...

This is a brilliant idea! I have to start a help Captain Corky's wallet grow website. Would you like to be the first to donate some money to my wallet?

Lord Chimmy said...

Meh. I like small boobs.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Unfortunately, I'm not particularly wealthy, enjoy spending money on me, but give to Dogs Trust and get soppy letters from a dog.

Also, E-cup is a little on the large side for me.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Where do I register?

Dorky Dad said...

I think I'm going to keep my money, thank you. I'd do that even if I were wealthy.

Airam said...

I think I should become a donor.

K said...

AHAHAHAHA! Golden!

Jocelyn said...

I shall quibble here: a certain kind of bigger boobs (that is, artificially perky ones) = bigger confidence.

Actual, genuine bigger boobs = nipples at the waistline.

benjibopper said...

LOL.

"down at the implantation
small breasted renovations
all the calendar girls
line up and cry"

--danny michel

"hell in a handbasket, hell in a handbasket."

-Benjibopper

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

If I donated enough money to starving children in Africa, I would like to be offered the chance to go and experience where my money is going first hand.

Likewise in this scenario.

eric1313 said...

Cool! I don't feel so bad about my remarks. Lots of people thought this was a frisky subject that should be handled in an adult manner. I'm glad to see all sensitive parties touched on it.

Have I officially over done it yet?