Monday, January 14, 2008

Enquiring minds want to know- Part 1

I am happy to say that Delurk Fest 2008 was a tremendous success!

We had double digit delurking, folks!

Much thanks to everyone who came out to say hi. It is nice to have a better sense of who is privy to my thoughts, not to mention I found some fantastic new blogs, all at once.

Also, stemming from that last post, I have more than a few questions to respond to. In fact, more than it feels reasonable to cover in a single post, so this will be completed in multiple editions (hey, at least it keeps me from complaining about what a bitch my umbrella was for a week or so, right?).  Without further ado...

ttcmb asked "If you were a real superhero, not a vengeful one, what would your superpower be and why?"
Hey? Who says a vengeful superhero isn't a real one?
Actually, it is probably against the superhero code of ethics to be based solely on revenge, isn't it? Probably the same for any of the deadly sins. 
Damn, I guess my super sloth powers are out.
I actually think I would go with mind-control. It seems like that is a good way to eliminate evil without all the violence. 

Larissa asked "What's the best date you've ever been on?"
My main squeeze, The Duke, and I had a whole lot of chemistry that was seemingly being held in by the weakest of threads by the time our first date rolled around. It didn't start out especially spectacularly-- a quick coffee, and then a crappy romantic comedy. However, a few minutes into the movie, we had our first non-furtive moment of physical contact when he grabbed my hand. The feeling of his fingers brushing up against my wrist and knuckles was absolutely electric, so much so that every brush of his skin was infinitely more exciting than the mediocre dialogue playing out in front of me. After the film, we quickly fled to a secluded beach, and returned home late that night, hair wet from the rain, feet full of sand. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Yoda just wants y'all to know that he's mega crushing on me.

Maxie asked about my worst date.
In all honesty, I haven't dated a heck of a lot. It could be a small town thing, but while I was growing up, we were a little black and white-- you were with someone or you weren't.
That being said, I did make the mistake of going on a blind date once.
Don't judge-- I was 14, and doing my friend's boyfriend a favour.
I wasn't too impressed when he turned out to look like he never closed his mouth.
I was even less impressed when the other duo in our double date decided we should all go down to the waterfall, aka. make-out point, so they could, well, make out.
It was there, sitting on the rocks, trying desperately to avoid any eye contact for fear of a pouncing kiss, that he asked me if I would hold his hand.
That's right... asked me.
And while I'm sure you are all cooing about how cute that is-- at 14, it was exceedingly lame.
And I didn't know how to say no.
And he did not let go of my hand the entire day, even when downtown, even when running into people he knew.
And he was so angry when I didn't want to "go out" with them that he suggested writing "for a good time, call Princess P" on a telephone pole.

Jocelyn asked "Who was the best teacher you ever had? Why?"
My best teacher was Ms. S, who taught me throughout Grades 9-12, mostly in Drama, as well as Writing. She just had a spirit of genuine kindness and care about her. I think it was literally impossible for her to every be jaded with the world. She taught me to takes chances and gave the most heartfelt feedback. There is actually a Facebook group entitled "The influenced masses of Ms. S"-- she was that spectacular.
When I run into most of my teachers, they are thrilled to hear that I am pursuing a PhD. (Though my old music teacher declared it a travesty that I am now "officially" smarter than him). However, the first question she always asks me is whether I am still writing. She looks a little heartbroken when I tell her only in the academic realm.
I almost want to send her this url.

Mrs.4444 wonders "What is the meanest thing you ever did to someone when you were in gradeschool?"
After the sting of being nicknamed Scribbler due to my less-than-mediocre drawing abilities, I was actually hyperaware of the consequences of cruelty on others. So I never was one for pulling hair or spreading rumours, really.
In Grade 6, the geekiest boy in school was the first guy to ask me on a date. I panicked and took his phone number, saying I would tell him my answer over the weekend. I never did, although I'm sure I called a few friends when I got home.
Ironically enough, he ended up being gay. I wonder if I'm a little to blame for that. 

Lisa wants to know if the Anti-Vexation Vixen will wear underwear outside her clothing. 
I'm thinking yes, in hot pink.
Unfortunately, I cannot grant your request for a picture, for *sob* my laptop has no MS Paint. (any free online drawing site I can used?)

Ant trailed off a little in asking me "what colour underw..."
I can only assume he means what colour underwater mask I wear when scuba diving.
Unfortunately, though scuba diving is actually one of my dreams, I've yet to go, so I haven't chosen a mask yet.
To avoid disappointment, I'll just answer another unrelated question. My underwear today are yellow with blue polka dots. For serious. 

James asked "If you were forced to spend 30 days locked up in a room with only basic amenities, and you were allowed to take 3 non electrical items in with you, what would those 3 items be?"
Eep. The non-electrical part-- i.e. no music-- may kill me.
A pen, the fattest pad of paper on the planet, and a toothbrush.
Great Canadian novel, here we come...

Seven asked "What is the most random snippet of conversation you've accidentally overheard?"
The funny thing is, for all the eavesdropping I do (being voyeuristic and all), you think I would have some better material.
One that sticks out? Sitting in front of two, ahem, rather skidly fellow (leather ball cap and all) on a bus ride out of town. One fellow had apparently just gotten a giant metal brace-type thing off his head that day, and used the word "festering" approximately 12 times in one sentence to describe the results. He then proceeded to elaborate on how much ass he was planning to get that night. I wanted to tell him he would have to ditch the rat tail and reduce his use of "festering" by approximately 600% to achieve that goal.

Leeeeemur requested that I create my own animal, a la Liger.
(This is where I wish I had MS Paint again)
My creation is the Uni-Sea-Corn.
A seahorse unicorn crossbreed.
Basically, a bright purple mini-unicorn that swims. 
And the men carry the babies. 
And it uses its horn for magic, to spear eels to eat, and to have epic battles with narwhals.
Coolest. Animal. Ever.

LittleSpoon is curious is to why her cats are such jerks.
It's because they are the reincarnation of Rasputin and Benito Mussolini. Who were pretty big jerks, too.
I <3>
Deutlich had a few queries for me:

"What's your happy song? The one that just brings a smile to your face no matter what mood you're in."
Sucka Mofo by Northern State (first song on the media player. Do it.)
These chicks are fantastic, with lyrics like: 
"Sir I know you may lack employment
But I don't exist just for your enjoyment
I'm just tryin' to get from Point B to Point A
So sucka' motherfucka' get out my way!"

"What's your biggest pet peeve?"
This varies pretty much daily, but a pretty constant one is restaurants that put onions in their food when it is not on the menu.

"If you had all the resources in the world, would you run for President? Why or why not?"
Probably not.
Number 1-- I'm Canadian, and I'm sure no one wants any of "our type" in the White House!
Number 2-- I'm waaaaay too sensitive. The first political cartoon with an oversized caricature of one of my physical flaws would make me cry.
I would use my resources to help a worthy candidate, though (aka. the biggest cop-out answer ever!)

That's probably all the Princess-y factoids you can handle in one sitting! Tune in for more... same Bat channel and so forth.


Ant said...

So disappointed that you don't have a scuba mask...

ana said...

Enjoyed reading your answers. Trying to visualize the hot pink over the outfit underwear....get yourself adobe....

Looking forward to part two.

Lisa said...

Awesome answers. I especially love the Uni-Sea-Corn. Men should always carry the babies.

Beth said...

Well done.
And I love the tales from your childhood.

Anonymous said...

I love all your answers, especially the story about your blind date.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Very answer my question!!! :)

Jamie Lovely said...

Love the answers!

Anonymous said...

I figured my cat's jerkedness had something to do with reincarnation. Thank you for telling me who they were in their previous lives. It sheds much needed light on how to manage them!

Sheila said...

The Uni-Sea-Corn sounds awesome! Perhaps you could hand draw/color a pictore and scan it in! :)

Valerie said...

I would be too sensitive to be president, as well.

Right, like that's the ONLY reason I wouldn't make a good president!

Yoda said...

If I were to spend 30 days in a locked chamber with only 3 non-electrical items? I would totally ask for a hammer, a chisel and a saw. I would spend all the time in there trying to get out :-p

Donno if lightsaber qualifies as electric?

BTW, links needs a updatin'

seven said...

Festering is such a gross word... *giggle*. Yeah, pickled mangoes... not so much. But pickled anything else is WONDERFUL.
It made me hungry too...that's why I posted it. I felt the need to share the pain. :)
Thanks for the comment!

seven said...

Oh, and Criminal Law (Sexual Offenses) IS the best band name I've ever heard. That rocks.

Lisa said...

Do you have windows xp? I 98% guarantee you have ms paint.
Go to control panel, add/remove programs. Then there is a tab that says "Add remove windows components". And I think you want to install... MS EXPLORER? I can't remember what it's called. Install something that you don't already have installed that looks like it might have paint included. Good luck gumshoe

Ashley said...

The Uni-Sea-Corn sounds awesome, altho any animal where men carry the babies is my type of man. Seriously.

Good answers!! Can't wait to hear more. (like you know, the answer to my question :-D I'm not self absorbed or anything...)

brandy said...

Well done. I love the animal you created. Also? Your reasons for not being President are eerily similar to mine. Especially, you know, that whole part about being Canadian.

Miriam D said...

Once in middle school a really big geek asked me out and I did the same thing... I said I would think about it. Except he told the whole school I said YES! So I had to tell him off!!

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Start-->Search-->All Files / Folders

Search for: "mspaint.exe" (no quotes)


Maxie said...

You are quite lucky that that was your worst date, lol.

My favorite teacher was my 8th grade English teacher and she is the only person in the whole world I would show my blog to. She'd be really happy that I'm writing at all... because I always protested in class.

Jocelyn said...

Send her the URL. I'm a teacher of writing. I hope to have an effect.

On behalf of all of us writing teachers, send her the URL.

Btw, I just realized you're the same age as Britney Spears, and it freaked me out. You two are on exactly the same trajectory and all.

DG said...

Thank you for the answers - very insightful. Sorry I wasn't around to ask you a question!

libby said...

I'm Canadian, and I'm sure no one wants any of "our type" in the White House!

hahaha...probably so true.

eric1313 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eric1313 said...

Smart women are the best, you know. One can hardly blame Yoda.

1 day, I's B smrt, 2!

Sorry that my question was lame and was brilliantly answered many times in past posts. However, those were only posts, not short stories exploring the depravities of minds that come up with these search queries.

If you were to accept the call, I'll write some stories, too. We could write them as flash fiction--500 words or less--literature's version of delurking. ;) And not just about my question, but all other weird, unusual, intimate (changed names, of course) and hilarious subjects or hijinks possible. It's just good to write with friendly competition. It would be fun, and it'll give me pause to get back into prose, which as you know, I take on much differently than I do verse. I thrive on awkward social situations in literature, if you've ever read my short stories from back in June.

PS--Mind control? We would all be your puppets??? Good thing you aren't in a position of power, Generalisimo Pointful. Evil thoughts do not equate evil actions!

OK, mini-rant over. I can't think of anyone else who I would want to have that kind of power, actually.

Peace out, her Fuhrer.

captain corky said...

Mind control is a very useful power and now I can invite you to join my Super Hero team. What is your uniform going to look like?

PS We don't call our uniforms, costumes. We don't believe in that.

Michelle said...

the onion thing irks me too!! how i hate the smell of those things.

cdp said...

Awww. I loved reading about that date with The Duke. That made me feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside and my toes all tingly. So sweet.

Jess said...

I LOVE your description of your best date ever. Seriously, it is fantastic and so atmospheric. This is a great post for me to have discovered your blog on.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Heh! I like the idea that someone might be 'blamed' for another's sexuality.

It's not a crime!


Mama Zen said...

Wonder if rat tail dude used "festering" as part of his pick-up line . . .

Larissa said...

Thanks for answering our questions - that date sounds like it was wonderful!

Damsel in Digress said...

i can't wait for the next edition! i need to know more - oh so more - about my future wifey.

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Poka dots? Hmm, I have never seen a person wearing underwear like that. I, unfortunately missed this post, but one question: If you had to wear a shirt that said one thing, what would it be?

Dorky Dad said...

You could be the prime minister of Canada, you know. It's more or less the same sort of thing, though it's a different form of government, blah blah blah.

I can't believe that you turned a guy gay. Wow. Does Duke know about that?