Thursday, March 13, 2008

Hell hath no fury like a broken alarm clock

There is nothing quite like the panic that grips you when the red numbers of the clock pierce through your sleep coated eyes, proclaiming "You're late!"

Especially when frantic math informs you that it is two and a half hours late, to be exact.

It's an odd transition from blurry-eyed and blinking to frenzied, flailing limbs and mind racing in a period of approximately 5 seconds.

So, yes, my alarm clock decided to commit ritualistic suicide (I checked again this morning, and, yes, it just decided to ring its last ring. Or, more precisely, to play its last bad soft rock song.). Specifically, it decided to commit suicide the morning I had to be up at 6am for a 12 hour plus crazy day full of assessments at jail, scoring at one clinic, and therapy at another. This, coincidentally, was also after I'd had an extreme bout of insomnia, and thus had irresponsibly popped a few Gravols out of desperation once the clock hit AM again. As some of you may remember, I have a rather low tolerance for the effects of this particular drug, which would explain why I never even opened my sleepy eyes until two! and! a! half! hours! late!

The poor Duke was woken up to me screeching "holymotherofshitIamsofired!", and witnessed a miraculous bed to door speed of approximately five minutes (with a brief stopover to call any possible friend with a car, and to hyperventilate to my coworker).

But, readers? I am a superstar. For reals.

I managed to cut down my tardiness from two and a half hours to one hour by 1) leaving the house with greasy hair and no breakfast/coffee and 2) taking a cab from the clinic to the jail, rather than my usual hour bus ride.
Turns out no one at the jail cares if you are an hour late, anyways, because 1) it's not like you're interrupting the prisoners from an extremely busy schedule (as one put it, "Anything is more exciting than staring at a wall"), and 2) as another psychometrist later told me, people are almost always late because it is impossible to pick up the testing material and make it to the institution by 9am anyways.

By noon, by virtue of 1) no coffee or lunch break and 2) plain ol' hard work, I was right back on schedule. With no one but my one coworker the wiser.

I can't decide if I am the luckiest or unluckiest person on the planet.

43 comments:

distractedspunk said...

I say lucky. Because you and I are friends. :-P

No, in all serious, I've had days like those. Don't you love when you go rushing through the day and then you get home and just want to pass out and you can't fall asleep? At ALL?

thestoryofagirl said...

Wow! I am extremely impressed! I say you're neither lucky, or unlucky. Luck had nothing to do with it! It was all skill!

Psychgrad said...

Man..I hate the feeling of waking up so late you're supposed to be somewhere at that particular moment. I think it's actually physically painful to be that late.

Good job on catching up. I find I often perform at my best when I have many excuses to rationalize being at my worst.

Z said...

I HATE unexpectedly sleeping in (when it's expected - bliss!)

But WOW you are superwoman for making up all that time!

r.xo said...

You are ridiculously fabulous!

I solved this problem myself a few years back after running in late to invigilate an exam. After the exam was over, I walked into the mall and bought an alarm clock that plugs into the wall and ALSO has backup batteries.

Here's to scaling back your pace and having a less hectic day tomorrow!

ttcmb said...

I hate the feeling of waking up and seeing the clock and knowing you are late. I am super impressed you managed to catch up on your day.

Single said...

Very lucky!!! I, on the other hand, was unlucky today. My boss and I arrived at the same time and I was like 20 minutes late. If he had been on time and I had been late, he wouldn't have known...but no such luck. Oh well.

Maithri said...

You crack me up!! Honestly... because you remind me so much of myself... haha im still smiling...

Let me ask you somethin I've always wondered about this particular subject...

Why do we care more about what everybody else thinks...than our own breakfast, bodies, peace... I dont know the answer...cos I'm guilty of it over and over...even though i tell myself I dont give a f*&* what other ppl think...but clearly I do ;)... maybe its self preservation...or maybe its self deprecation...

Either way it makes me laugh...

Love to you and thanks for your amazing writes, M

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Isn't it funny how panicked we get about our schedules sometimes, when no matter what happens, it always just turns out fine. Way to go, SuperGirl! :)

the frog princess said...

Oooh, waking up late is the WORST! I have the uncanny ability to turn the alarm completely off in my sleep... and then wake up 2 hours late wondering what the hell happened.

Congrats on getting it together that fast! I, for one, am impressed!

Jocelyn said...

If you didn't brush your teeth that morning on your scream out of the house, I'd say your coworkers were the unluckiest on the planet.

twentysomethingandclueless said...

Ugh - frantic, rushed mornings are the worst!! At least you managed to only be an hour late :)

Deutlich said...

So, apparently I'm still sleepy because I *tried* to comment by pressing the "older posts" button and then found myself severely confused at what I was reading.

Go fig.

Anyhoozle. I definitely think some good karma was working its way into your day. Seriously.

Silverstar said...

Sounds like you needed the extra sleep and good that you didn't get in trouble for it. :)

lspoon said...

Gosh! I'm lucky to have an internal alarm that screams Get up! When I over sleep by just 20 minutes. But I'm an enigma wrapped in a puzzle, so I guess I'm the odd man out.

I'm glad you were able to catch up fairly quickly!

Yoda said...

Your alarm clock croaked?

Believe it or not, all my sympathies go towards the Duke ('coz you're a superstar anywayz!) who had to wake up to screeches. That is NO way to wake up. I'd be crabby!

Nilsa S. said...

You are one of the smartest people on the planet to be able to trick the clocks back onto your schedule. Nice!

Stephanie said...

Oh, I hate rushing around thinking I'm going to be late, only to find out it didn't really matter anyway. Hope the rest of your day was better!

Miriam D said...

Ever so lucky. I felt your pain so much reading this post, as this has happened to me many times. Damn alarm clock.

Michelle & the City said...

you are definitely lucky.

i hate that feeling when you see you've woken up late and you have to leave with indentations in your skin from your pajamas or where the side of the pillow was mashing into your face. tres sexy.

Tin Ma'am said...

Lol i'd say neither unlucky or lucky - but certainly able to hit the ground running or be given a lump of coal and turn it into a diamond! Good job!

Essentially Me said...

This post is awesome ... I loved how you wrote it! And I could totally relate to your first paragraph!

eric1313 said...

I've been there more times than anyone. I used to have to have a special alram clock stereo that was exceedingly loud to wake me up. The those little brown stand bys with the red digital displays were nothing compared to my vast cosmic powers of sleep. At one time, I could have slept through judgment day--that is, after finally falling asleep.

You're lucky because you get to live the life, the dream--and nobody cares about punctuality. What a sweet niche you've found in the world of employment!

Yes, The Dream.

You get to fullfill your ambition for the highest possible education, to learn what makes people tick, and measure the amount of tickiness that they posses in the process. I hope that last part is a fair description psychometry. Kinda off the cuff this morning, but I can't imagine it any other way. Perhaps I could use some speed in my pepsi. Ha! Fo reals, sista siteful! My whip b a janky hoopty this morn, ya feel me, g?

Thank you for not taking down my link! Most of all, thank you for chaecking in on me like you do. I should have let you know I was going to be off the hizzy for a while. I don't know when I'll be back to my semi normal schedual of production, but I'm just glad to say hello and whatnot to you this morning. And I do stress the whatnot, a'ight?

Peace, yo!

Do take care, friend.

La said...

Ooh, I hate being late, It's so panic-inducing! But to echo everyone else, you're like superwoman!

Hope you have a great weekend!

Ashley said...

wow - i am way impressed. i would have freaked out too...kudos to you for catching up so quickly.

Surfergrrl said...

Since the time change I am even more late than ever. Of course no one really cares if I'm late anyway, so it's no big deal...but I know the feeling you had when you try to focus in on the time and think, holy shit!

Valerie said...

Oh God, finding out you've overslept is THE WORST. Did you manage to survive without coffee?

benjibopper said...

i just re-watched 'instinct' last night, which maybe you've seen b/c 1. it's about a shrink in a prison and 2. you love daniel quinn and it's based on his ideas. anyway, i really love that movie, despite its occasional drift into hollywood sensationalism, and this post in particular reminded me of anthony hopkins' character's lesson to cuba gooding jr.'s character about freedom, and the lack thereof, and how we schedule our time. "where will you be at 2 today? at 3?" it's rarely where we'd most like to be.

ana said...

I hate it when I can't allow the lazy to creep back in me. Being late sucks, and greasy hair -- that's a downer. But all in all it's not so bad to have rush mornings, after all they make you grateful for the days when you can and do take all your sweet time traveling back from the dreams.

Oooh and I'm back.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I am a superstar. For Reals......was definitely funny. You made me LOL, feel the power of a good blog entry!!

Katelin said...

Oh man I am impressed. Can you share some of that skill with me so I can be on top of things next time I'm running late haha.

Beth said...

I'd say you were a little bit of both - and probably starving by the end of the day.

Trevor said...

What's this "sleep" shit that everyone is talking about? It sounds nice.

Hope said...

You ARE a superstar. Isn't it amazing what we can pull off when we have to?

cookie monster said...

Ha! I get to sleep AT work!

Not that i'm showing off or anything.....

Sheila said...

There's no need for coffee when your adrenaline kicks in like that!

I will say you were lucky - I'm a "glass half full" kind of girl!

Maxie said...

Oh wow... craziness! My VERY FIRST day of college my alarm clock didn't work. My roommate was so mad at me and we both ended up sprinting to our classes.

I'm glad you caught up! I'd say you're quite lucky :-)

A Lil' Irish Lass said...

Go you! Rockstar indeed :)

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I woke up an hour late a couple of weeks back. I did think of rushing, then I thought, late is late and went and got a cooked breakfast.

Once in a while, it does no harm.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Yeah lately I havent given an F whether or not my hair was clean when I leave the house. lol. NOT AT ALL.

SMARTBuddy said...

Ho Ho. Yeah the alarm clock no-show happens to me every few years. The sleepy, ooo i feel really well slept this morning...... wait a... noooooooooooooooo really is blind panic! Good recovery though!

Abbey said...

Sort of like my week, I managed to be a half hour late from my half hour early mornin meeting by claiming that my car wouldn't start when in fact I'd lost my car keys and couldn't start it. Thankfully, my meeting person was 15 minutes late as well so in total I was only 15 minutes...or whatever. :)

cdp said...

You did a great job describing the feeling of that moment when you roll over and see the clock.

And "holymotherofshitiamsofired" was SERIOUSLY hilare. You're so funny, girl. I love it.