An abridged (and *slightly* altered) version of the email I received from my supervisor, who has been on sabbatical since January:
Sorry for taking over a week to respond to your last email.
I am going to arbitrarily choose not to answer several of your questions, despite the fact that you numbered them for clarity. Please note that this includes the question regarding when I will have time to edit the final version of that manuscript that you actually wrote last summer, but have still not submitted for publication because I didn't have time to edit the first version for several months.
Also, I have still not taken a look at that survey you send me a month ago, despite your comments that you wanted to get on data collection ASAP, and my email back saying I would be able to look at it two weeks ago. Would you care to send it to me again?
Before I sign off, I just wanted to let you know that we have no spare funding for the Chicago conference, so that plane ticket on your Visa is all yours. Hope that's okay!
Oh, and note my lack of congratulations on your other first authored manuscript with another faculty member, and my lack of acknowledgment that he believes it to be ready to submit with less than a month's total turn-around when both of our pieces have taken over a year.
My supervisor is utterly brilliant and incredibly kind, but I think I may go crazy waiting around for him.