Thursday, September 4, 2008

Quotes and other such randomisity

"He's got the metabolism of a centaur!"

- Yours truly
(You've never seen a fat centaur, have you?  Or a real one. )

***

Upon me making small talk with a former classmate about his heavy course load over the upcoming semester...

"Yeah, it's really busy, but I have a lot more time on my hands now that I don't have a girlfriend anymore."

In and of itself, I know this isn't that odd of a statement. But considering I've never once mentioned relationships, my weekend plans, my lunch... hell, anything besides course related brain chemistry to him, and anything more than one minute in length, it was a painfully awkward moment.

My reply, after an obligatory awkward pause? "Well, school will be your girlfriend now."

***

Asshat of the week award goes to people who talk on cell phones at the gym.

I can't decide who is worse-- the woman who seemingly just goes to the gym so she can call people to tell them she is at the gym, while she lazily does a rep or two while sitting on my coveted ab machine for 10 minutes....
(If you can hold down a conversation while working out, you're doing it wrong)

OR

The woman who was running at least 6 miles an hour, on an incline, with two books and papers spread out all over the screen of the treadmill, while talking on the phone. I had visions of a YouTube worthy series of injuries occurring with bad gym 90s techno serving as the soundtrack.

***

A pen spontaneously exploded in my hand today. The less comical part of this is that the white cardigan I am wearing to a wedding this weekend has been smeared blue (hey, at least it provided some variability from my typical coffee stains). 

The more comical part of this is that it somehow leaked into my bag, where I had stored my "professional" clippy-cloppy high heeled shoes for seeing clients, so that I could wear flip flops for most of the day. More specifically, it spilled right onto one heel, which I didn't notice until the entire hallway of the clinic was polka-dotted with navy splotches.

***

I am away this weekend to a fabulous little island getaway for a very close friend's wedding (and somehow fitting in ridiculous amounts of course reading between drinks). However, upon my return (Monday to be specific), I have some very big bloggie news--- so stay tuned!!

37 comments:

jenn said...

Haha, quotes are funny. My best is:
"fruit cups simply do not resemble breasts"
(there was a story, I swear...)

Also, way to keep us in suspense!
Enjoy the wedding :)

pelf said...

Oh my gosh, I can't imagine the look on your face when you realized that you were the one creating the polka dots on the hallway!

At times like this, it's great to know that your sense of humour is ceiling high :D

Larissa said...

The pen explosion sounds bad. Hope you find some other sweater to keep you warm at the wedding!

Dan Mega said...

Centaurs aren't fat but they are still big- they just work out a lot. But I don't think they take up your ab machine.

Essentially Me said...

Well if anyone needs to find you they can just follow the blue splotches! Have a fun weekend!

SMARTBuddy said...

Gym Idiots. Theres a TV series in there somewhere. Oh so annoying. Have a nice weekend!

dmb5_libra said...

"Well, school will be your girlfriend now." - Best response ever!

I dislike people who purposely wear makeup to the gym...i can understand if you're just coming from work, etc...but if you are consciously making the effort to put on full pancake face to sweat for and hours or so, you have a problem.

PrincessB said...

Have a great time at the wedding!

And I love the first line. I'm going to use it..although I'll probably just sound like a dork and not smart like I'm sure you do when you say it. :)

Paula said...

I LOVED the centaur line.

and as for the second conversation . . . any chance the guy was trying to chat you up???

have an awesome weekend!

lspoon said...

HAve fun at the wedding!

At least a pen exploding and ruining a pair of shoes and a sweater is reason enough to go shopping! :)

Daisy said...

I vote the lazy chic on the ab machine is worse.

distractedspunk said...

Um. I love your one-liners.

Also. I'd definitely be a navy-splotch polka dot-hallway kinda girl too.

Centaurs! (Now I'm thinking of Harry Potter.) Enjoy your weekend! What's this bloggie news?! Are you moving to the States for your next round of school?!

Nilsa S. said...

I love how you're great with the small talk in this post. Telling us little (humorous) snippets of your days. And then you drop a bomb. Only, we have to wait until Monday to find out. WTF?! Yeah?! Well, I have a secret of my own. And you're not gonna find out ... ever! Take that! hahaha.

tmamone said...

Big bloggie news? The suspense is already killing me!

benjibopper said...

I love a good cliffhanger.

Happy weekend!

poodlegoose said...

Big news? Can't wait! Hope you have a great time at the wedding! I've been to so many lately, I can't wait until my next mini-vacay :)

notthelifeiordered said...

Is your dress for the wedding blue? Because that would totally work with your white and blue cardigan and you could pass it off as doing it on purpose....

Big news?! Way to leave us all in suspence! Can't wait to find out! Have a great weekend :)

ToughGirl101 said...

have fun at the wedding! hope you'll get lots of fodder to write about!

the almost right word said...

You are always running off to fancy weddings lately, aren't you?

My goodness, I don't know if I can wait for the big bloggie news! ;)

Matt said...

I had to google centaur...

and I am SO glad I did.

EF said...

UGH! cell phones should be banned at gyms! Yes, many other places also spring to mind, but you hit it on the head with the two gym examples!

Jess said...

I just had a conversation with a friend about unicorns, and whether they would create mule-like babies if they mated with other species like rhinoceroses, and my friend pointed out that we never see rhinococorns running around, and then I pointed out that we also don't see unicorns running around. And then you posted about that centaur thing and reminded me of that conversation.

rs27 said...

It's a nice day for a Whiet Wedding. For some reason that's all I could think of with the white cardigan wedding comment.

I'm lame.

Sassy said...

I have to agree with Paula - I think the guy at school was totally trying to see if you were interested/available. You know, by letting you know he is single.

Ana said...

My favorite mythical animal quote (at the zoo with my sister-in-law and her now ex-husband):

Sister-in-law: What animals should we see first?
ex-husband: I always miss the unicorns, let's see them first.
Sister-in-law: Um, you know that unicorns aren't real, right?
ex-husband: Of course they are! Doesn't this zoo have them?

At that point the rest of us just started laughing uncontrollably.

Deutlich said...

i swear, you're always on your way to an island! sooo jealous

Jenn said...

Big news?! Oh man! Let me guess...you're moving to Chicago so now you'll be a Chicago blogger? That must be it!

Katelin said...

i love your centaur quote, haha. seriously you never cease to make me laugh.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I hate the people who barely/don't break a sweat on the cardio machines because they are walking like they are under water!

--

I find that many marry their program because their relationships fail under the stress of grad school. It's the whole, "throw yourself into your work!" idea.

Dexter Colt said...

There are certain pens you cannot take on planes. I found this out the hard way. Apparently, some pens are not designed for the cabin pressure.

And, the gym cell phone thing...I blame texting. I constantly see people texting messages while in the gym. Texting is fast becoming an addiction.

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Crashdummie said...

Hahah I love the "Well, school will be your girlfriend now." remark.

Hmm, regarding the pen exploding – you do realise that is the bride that is supposed to wear something White… and blue ;)

Bloggie news? I’m all ears! Have a fab weekend.

Princess of the Universe said...

I LOVE your quotes.
And I hope that your bloggie news is that you have to come to Winnipeg to visit for some totally random reason. :)
xo

Bayjb said...

Good sweet lord I hate people who talk on their phones at the gym. Very rude. I love the "centaur" word, nice choice!

Tina Vaziri said...

Too funny, hope you enjoyed the wedding!!

lissa said...

ha. i loved your response about school being his new girlfriend. i think my new job is going to so tough that it's going to be my boyfriend for a while. lame.

Z said...

true, I've never seen a fat (or a real) centaur before ;)