Sunday, November 23, 2008

Random things I have a hate on for

Sassy birth control advertisement.

Alesse, I'm looking at you. Secret agents? Bad puns like "I'm flaw-alesse!" and "Science drives me sense-alesse!" (which reminds me far too much of the now infamous "math is tough!" talking Barbie-- girl power!)? 
You know what is the selling point of my birth control pills? The fact that they stop me from becoming pregnant.

Skin on hot chocolate.

Overly obscure crossword clues.
I really shouldn't need to have a degree in Russian literature or physics to complete the crossword puzzle in a free daily paper. And I'm good with random trivia!

Silverfish.
I almost posted a photo, but they are too nasty to look at.
I never seen this quick skittering little insects until I moved to a damp city... let's just say I wasn't missing out.

Plug earrings.
These things just creepy me out, particularly the extremely large ones. I can't help but imagine how nasty and floppy people's ear lobes are when they are taken out.

Plus, I have an exceedingly gross story about these bad boys. One time, my friends and I were having breakfast at a greasy spoon type diner, and, when we got to our table, there was a plain silver ring sitting on it. My friend aimlessly twirled it around her finger... until we realized it was someone's plug earring. Ewwww.

People who bob their heads dramatically while listening to their iPods.
This bugs me about a million more times than people tapping their feet, for some reason. Do you really have to prove how catchy the music only you can hear is?

Shaquille O'Neal.
Forever and for always.

People who invade your personal bubble while waiting in line for a sandwich so much that you can practically feel their breath, and then  laugh into your ear about your order.
I'm not talking about a specific instance or anything....
And there is nothing wrong for asking for only a little bit of lettuce and lots of pickles. There is something wrong with you spying on my sub order, though.

Men in tank tops.
I'm fine if you are working out, playing sports, on the beach, etc. But as general public attire? No dice. Armpit hair bothers me. As does the possibility of nipple spottage.

Adults who use text speak.
There is no reason for anyone above the age of 18 to use "4" instead of "for". Ever.

The two day shelf life of bananas.
Why are bananas only tasty for such a limited time? I can't keep on justifying saving them for the banana bread I will only actually make twice a year.

Hangnails.

Crows cawing from above my head.
This means they are within dive bombing range.

Almost everyone eating at Denny's at 3am except myself.
The fact that you're drunk and craving hashbrowns doesn't make you any better than the person serving you hashbrowns. In fact, you are very likely a worse person, I would wager.

Christmas music in November.
The December 1st rule is rigid, in my eyes.

Unpredicted onions.
Why are onions the one thing restaurants never label in their menu??

40 comments:

Essentially Me said...

Skin on hot chocolate ... yes! I found some on mine today and wasn't pleased with that.

Armpit hair is gross. The word armpit is gross.

S'Mat said...

great list! unfortunately, one of the things i have a hate on for is the phrase 'hate on'. that and people calling me buddy. that and the now-ubiquitous 'cheers'. it just doesn't sound right in canada.

i'm with you on the tank tops on guys. get a friggin tank and then i'll think you're cool, until then, you're just a fred durst muppet!

lspoon said...

YES! 16 times YES! and crazily even more so on your last point!

Mandy said...

Ewwww, ear plugs are gross. I do have to admit, I have been listening to Christmas music already.

S'Mat said...

oh yeah, and the morning-after pill being advertised as Plan B. now THAT pisses me right off. whatever happened to Plan A you idiot!! what next? Zygotebegone?

S. said...

Agreed. And for all those people nodding their heads dramatically to their iPod music I hope your expecting the "WTF are you listening to? I hope it's worth it cuz you look funny" look.

Lily said...

AMEN! Esp that first one - another annoying bc ad is Nuva Ring with all of the synchronized swimmers. Nothing against those ladies, but that song gets in my head all day (dammit, it is now) and like you said - selling point = no babies.

Daisy said...

oh wow I am SO with you on the onion thing!!! But I have to say I think I may be one of those annoying head boppers. I try SO hard not to but when I'm riding Sydney public transportation I do find myself nodding to the beat. lol.

Tony said...

Text speak is probably one of my biggest pet peeves, and is used by my mom all the time.

Also, I went shopping today, and no fewer than several of the stores were playing Christmas music. Made me want to vomit. NO earlier than the first day after Thanksgiving. That's my rule, and it always will be.

All Mod Cons said...

Definitely with you on the text speak. No excuse for it. Ever. At all. And the personal space issue. Gets me really riled.

My cousin has one of those ear thingys. I've often wondered what it's going to look like when he takes it out. Do they ever shrink back? Or will it stay looking like they've got a womans crotch on the side of their face?

eric1313 said...

they stay looking like a lady's floppy crotch, to answer Mod's question. Nastiest things ever. And you don't want to hear about people who have had these things ripped out in a fight or other heated moment.

Much like the torn nipple hoop---yeouch!!!

wee-h said...

We've got a new series of erotic adverts for condoms on tv right now. No need.


Good list :)

dmb5_libra said...

i hate all birth control commercials...especially the yaz ones. uggggh.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Those plug earrings are SO gross! They creep me out whenever I see anyone with one...ick!

Deutlich said...

Uhm. I LOATHE silverfish.

Tina Vaziri said...

Bahhh hangnails, why won't they leave me alone!?

Hope said...

This is such a great list. I also had to actually think about the last time I went to a club and I am pretty sure one of the reasons I can't remember is for all reasons you mentioned.

Surfergrrl said...

oh i hate it when people stand so close to you in line you feel their breath on your neck. I just want to turn around and punch them in the face. ewe!!!!

Sheila said...

I am so with you on most of these, especially People who invade my personal bubble while waiting in line! I hate that!

Matt said...

plug earrings are just awful.

EF said...

You may not get these, but lately there are "Thank you Sarah Palin" ads being played...for what? it's hard to tell if it's democrats or republicans who are thankful...(i know it is conservatives).

And still having to view endless political ads (there's a run-off in Dec.)

And Rihanna's choice of dresses and eye-patches- aye matey!

the almost right word said...

Confession time. I have to admit that I love that you changed your partial feed! And also, I kind of like those plug earrings myself. But then again, i tend to be attracted to skeezy, shaved-head, tattooed guys -- doesn't always work out the way I'd like.

rs27 said...

Shaq?!?! Say it ain't so!

verybadcat said...

Add chapped hands to the list.

Paula said...

I agree with so many of these - particularly skin on hot chocolate . . . ew!!!

Daisy said...

Agreed with all of these! Apart from the ones which I'm not sure what they are like hangnails and Shaquille watsit, but I'm pretty sure I'm with you there too.

Ant said...

I saw a guy wearing one of those manky hooped ear-ring things today and thought of you.

All Mod Cons said...

Eric1313 - I tore a mates nipple ring out once. Purely by accident though. He put it in himself (using a coke can to numb the nipple). Personally I think it was a stupid idea for a guy to have one in the first place, so I look at it as doing him a favour really!

Dave Q. said...

I love that list! You are dead on with all that stuff!

Ear plugs are pretty disturbing. As is Shaq. I hate that guy.

Crushed said...

The Christmas lights are up everywhere.

My mate works in food production, he tells me they're already starting on the EASTER run.

Katelin said...

plug earrings seriously freak me out a bit, shudder. and i am right there with you on the xmas music too, it doesn't go on in my player until december 1st and no sooner.

Z said...

Yes, yes, yes! To all of this!

longredcape said...

This post is so spot on. Especially the personal bubble invaders, Christmas music, and the onions. I LIKE onions, I would just like for you to warn me of their presence first. Thanks.

Your crow comment reminded me of the time I was somewhere with Murray, and I said, "It's so quiet and peaceful out here!" Well, RIGHT after I got the words out of my mouth, here came "CAW!!!!!!!" loud as hell. Thanks, ya damned crow.

Fabulously Broke said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

WKC said...

Re: silverfish, I use to swat them all until I realized I was mistaking house centipedes for silverfish, and also that house centipedes in fact devour many entomological pests including actual silverfish. I no longer swat house centipedes.

eric1313 said...

Mods--Right, it's nothing but a superfluous handle to get yanked by. I'm sure your mate will thank you in years to come. Remind them if they don't!

Maxie said...

I am SO with you on the x-mas music. I'm already sick of the shit and it's only been a week!

poodlegoose said...

Everything on your list? 100% in agreement. And especially the little bit of lettuce, extra pickles. . . no more pickles, please sub order. People who inch in line to snicker at your order? Obnoxious.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Most bewildering are the plug earrings without holes. Do these guys not know that from the front they look like they should be worn with a flowered dress and a string of pearls?

Yoda said...

y u h8 on rndm tngz?

(and I had to look up some of those! Gosh!)