Random things I have a hate on for

Sassy birth control advertisement.

Alesse, I'm looking at you. Secret agents? Bad puns like "I'm flaw-alesse!" and "Science drives me sense-alesse!" (which reminds me far too much of the now infamous "math is tough!" talking Barbie-- girl power!)? 

You know what is the selling point of my birth control pills? The fact that they stop me from becoming pregnant.

Skin on hot chocolate.

Overly obscure crossword clues.

I really shouldn't need to have a degree in Russian literature or physics to complete the crossword puzzle in a free daily paper. And I'm good with random trivia!

Silverfish.

I almost posted a photo, but they are too nasty to look at.

I never seen this quick skittering little insects until I moved to a damp city... let's just say I wasn't missing out.

Plug earrings.

These things just creepy me out, particularly the extremely large ones. I can't help but imagine how nasty and floppy people's ear lobes are when they are taken out.

Plus, I have an exceedingly gross story about these bad boys. One time, my friends and I were having breakfast at a greasy spoon type diner, and, when we got to our table, there was a plain silver ring sitting on it. My friend aimlessly twirled it around her finger... until we realized it was someone's plug earring. Ewwww.

People who bob their heads dramatically while listening to their iPods.

This bugs me about a million more times than people tapping their feet, for some reason. Do you really have to prove how catchy the music only you can hear is?

Shaquille O'Neal.

Forever and for always.

People who invade your personal bubble while waiting in line for a sandwich so much that you can practically feel their breath, and then  laugh into your ear about your order.

I'm not talking about a specific instance or anything....

And there is nothing wrong for asking for only a little bit of lettuce and lots of pickles. There is something wrong with you spying on my sub order, though.

Men in tank tops.

I'm fine if you are working out, playing sports, on the beach, etc. But as general public attire? No dice. Armpit hair bothers me. As does the possibility of nipple spottage.

Adults who use text speak.

There is no reason for anyone above the age of 18 to use "4" instead of "for". Ever.

The two day shelf life of bananas.

Why are bananas only tasty for such a limited time? I can't keep on justifying saving them for the banana bread I will only actually make twice a year.

Hangnails.

Crows cawing from above my head.

This means they are within dive bombing range.

Almost everyone eating at Denny's at 3am except myself.

The fact that you're drunk and craving hashbrowns doesn't make you any better than the person serving you hashbrowns. In fact, you are very likely a worse person, I would wager.

Christmas music in November.

The December 1st rule is rigid, in my eyes.

Unpredicted onions.

Why are onions the one thing restaurants never label in their menu??