Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Reasons I can't always act as if I am at least 10 years younger

I am in no-cell phone land, up a mountain driveway encased by snow draped trees. I may look a little rounder than usual, being layered in the eternally unflattering beige polyester of snow pants, but I am feeling pretty idyllic as I sit on the back of a snowmobile, wind sneaking through my scarf, the outstretched branches sparkling and contrasting to the gradually dimming sky. In fact, as I trudge up a hill, crazy carpet in hand, I think that I could perhaps write part two of the post below, sprinkling a few new ways I've remained in touch with my inner kid over the past few days.

I unroll the crazy carpet, and plop myself down on my stomach on top. With a quick kick and a little elbow work, I start hurtling down the hill just quick enough to get a slight twinge of a rush in my belly.

All the sudden,  I am slowing down.
And choking.
I gasp, dig my heels into the snow, and look down simultaneously, to see my scarf, still as securely connected to my neck as moments ago, but also entangled with the hand holes in the plastic below. It takes me a few moments to unweave myself from the contraption, as the people at the bottom of the hill looked at me quizzically as I stand up with my new crazy carpet necklace.

The next round, I decide, would be better completed sitting. It takes me a few seconds longer to gain momentum with my arms higher off the ground, but soon I am hurtling down the hill, backwards, laughing.

From my backwards perspective, I notice the german shepherd rapidly bolting down the slope behind me. At first, I think he is just chasing me, and I giggle at his excitement. Then, his frantic barking reaches my ears. He soon follows, and he is biting at my arm. I'm sure he is just trying to stop what he sees as my uncontrolled tumble down the hill, but his teeth don't just get my jacket on the second nip, and he pinches my arm through the fabric. He keeps pace with me, barking, as I fly down the hill, and I am trying to negotiate with him, calm him down, slow him down, anything.

And, suddenly, I slam into something very solid from behind. The dog dashes away. It turns out, that in my attempts to bargain with the dog, I have neglected to twirl myself back to facing frontwards, and have collided with a parked car. I roll off the crazy cart of doom into the snow, and wincing, stare up at the dusky sky above.

Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something.

(But, achy as I was, I still went for one more run, just to spite it.)


eric1313 said...

Bah, happens to everyone. When my brother and I went sledding we would time it one at a time, so that the person sliding down the hill would intentionally try to mow down the guy climbing the hill. Many a horrendous collision occurred, let me tell you.

But to quote an Irish relative, "t'was all in good fun."

Just keep your eyes peeled and looking in the general direction in which you are careening and all will be well.

Sledding and life... who knew how much they had in common?

Princess Pointful said...

But, you see Eric, my poor body isn't as resilient as it was 10-20 years ago, when it could take the bumps with nary a wince, and go for round two.
My back is swollen and ouchy and will be very black and blue!
And I'm pouting.

I did go up for one more run, though, just to show the universe who's boss.

eric1313 said...

Good for you! And in showing it so, you have indeed become the boss. But the psych student that you are already knew that, no need for me to tell you so.

But I think I know what you are saying, as I doubt my bro and I could survive our youthful hijinks quite as well as we could back then.

What's that cliche'? 'Youth being wasted on the young' i believe...

Anyway... Came back by to wish you well, was glad to have a bloggie dialog.

Merry Christmas, friend.

Hope all goes well for you in the new year ahead.

eric1313 said...

And take it easy, the bruises sound horrible...

We all know it's going to be about 10 fold worse tomorrow... I do not envy that, though the good times you had certainly is something to envy.

captain corky said...

I almost killed myself ridding a 4 wheeler at my friends bachelor party a couple of Summers ago. It was a great thrill and I had one of those laughs that you only have a few times in your life.

Happy Holidays Princess!

Ant said...


Indestructibility: you don't has it.

Maxie said...

this is why I neverrrr go sledding. I'm such a chicken!

Beth said...

Merry Christmas to both the child and the adult in you!

the frog princess said...

Struck down by a parked car... I thought I was the only one who managed such feats (or defeats, as it were).

Sounds like, despite nearly breaking yourself twice, you are having a good time. As I look out the window at the freezing rain falling from the sky here in PA, I will seethe with jealousy... but just a little :)

Happy Holidays!

*M* said...

Thank you so much for my morning laugh.

Glad to hear that you are okay though.

Nilsa said...

What a great adventure! Kind of reminds me of my high school boyfriend who, as we were walking down the street towards the sledding hill, decided to jump on his sled and sled down the street. Only, his sled caught the pavement and he kept going, scraping the crap out of his chin. 25 stitches and a plastic surgeon consultation later, we were heading home for a cup of cocoa and a laugh with his parents. Sigh.

S. said...

Should someone invite me to go sledding I would be torn. I'd either run ilke hell in the other direction hands flailing in the air, screaming, "Run for your LIVES!!!" or take a shot of Tequila and OWN that snowing hill! (and parked car)

Surfergrrl said...

Ha ha! Sounds very Griswald of you. :) It does sound like fun though. :)

Crushed said...

We don't really get snow here.
Not in recent years much, anyway.

I think it we got more when I waas little. I do remember going sledging.

You seem to be having quite a fun packed Xmas break..

Gladys said...

Which is exactly why my kids save me from myself ;)

Mrs4444 said...

Okay, not to be morbid or anything, but my mom's neighbor is in a wheelchair (and her son was killed) as a result of a sledding incident (sledding on the back of a ski hill in the dark.) I'm very glad you didn't get seriously hurt. Sledding is a blast, but it's not without its inherent dangers, is it? When I was a kid at Baird's Creek Hill, it seemed an ambulance was always parked at the bottom of the hill! Didn't stop us then or now; ah, the need for speed!


S'Mat said...

aawww... the shep was trying to tell you something! we've got a german shepherd, and he's constantly misunderstood by others as he 'invents' tasks to apparently arbitrary rules. sounds like you were 'misbehaving' in his fuzzy mind, and he was trying to herd you back to the group.. too bad he seemed so menacing.
those carpets are crazy!

lissa said...

happy holidays. :) i would have gone for one more ride too. i don't think it was the universe telling you anything -- just a bad day.

Tough Girl 101 said...

gotta love growing up... poor german shep

myself said...