Saturday, December 27, 2008

Even Freud thinks my slips are painful

The Scene: A brunch spot at around noon on Saturday, with around seven hungover friends after HomeTown's annual Boxing Day debacles.


I am discussing wine tastings with two others (including my theory that no one really thinks wines have hints of chocolate or a full bouquet, but rather than no one else wants to call them out on their pretentiousness).

Him: My band played at a wine tasting a while back, and, as part of it, we got to participate in the tasting. I got completely wasted.

Her: You do know that you are supposed to spit the wine out at fancy wine tastings?

Me: But who doesn't swallow, right?

Pause.

As I (and they apparently, too, despite my attempts to play it cool), realize what I have just said to my friend and her boyfriend (C and TG, for anyone who may remember back to the last holiday season), who is coincidentally my ex-boyfriend, and got his very first, um, occasion when someone would need to swallow for non-nutritional reasons from yours truly. 

Me: So, uh, moving along...

Her: Naw, let's just stay and simmer in the awkwardness for a little while longer.

27 comments:

Brandy said...

Ahh man! You poor girl. If it's any comfort, I would have said something similar, although I have to say the last line was just... awesome. Hope you are having a great holiday friend!

K. said...

Ouch.

But really? You HAVE to laugh at that.

... okay, maybe you don't, but I definitely did.

:)

Paula said...

absolutely brilliant! although if i said that, it probably would be deliberate.

if someone ELSE beat me to it, by accident, i'd be the one saying the last line . . . yeah, that's the kinda evil way I roll!

by the way i just got given a HORRIBLE word verification choice there - LUDGERS!!!

I don't know if that's a real word but if it is - it sounds disgusting!!!

S'Mat said...

many people whine for such an occasion
WORD VERIFICATION: gatidist...
JIVE!

Crushed said...

:)

I would agree on the wine front, it has always seemed to me quite bizarre this spitting out business.

I must admit, it's one thing I'm always conscious with around exes, the capacity for such situations to arise. On one case, I actually kind of blew it, there was a girl at work I was denying I'd ever slept with, but she made some kind of joke to which I'm afraid I lost it and retaliated 'I think you have proof to the contrary there, don't you?'

Uncomfortable silence in that office for a while...

I got Stran

Jack said...

Too funny! You totally choked. Next time, just embrace it and make it a gag. It's unnecessary to get red-faced and blow it out of proportion. :D

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

BWA HA HA

I love her response.

Tough Girl 101 said...

Oh, I know how you feel. Hahaha, ouch, and embarassing, no?i

Lizzie said...

Oh my God, that is FANTASTIC. Things like that happen to me all the time. But my friends would have followed it up with an awkward, "that's what she said" comment. Hilarious.

t.k.foster said...

Ohhh ... Pointful, your slips are the best though. Technically on every level, you're right.

Mandy said...

Ohhh that does hurt, but it is kind of funny.

Rachel said...

LOL! That was brilliant.

wee-h said...

Brilliant, I would have pee'd myself laughing at myself for that one, comedy gold :)

Mrs4444 said...

Lizzie said what I would have,or rather,what my Kyle would have (or might, if he had a dirty mind, that is). HAHA And, in most circumstances, he would have said, "Your mom doesn't swallow," but we both know that would be TOO awkward.

Okay, I know it's your blog, but I can't put this on mine, and it is PRICELESS. My best friend's mom was...um...swallowing when her jaw became locked in place. She had to go to the E.R. where she explained that she had been YAWNING when it happened. Practice saying that out loud, with your mouth open wide. Hilarious, no?

eric1313 said...

There are so many jokes hanging in the air that I will neither utter nor type a single one of them. Instead I'll let them swish around, and savor their virtues, their bouquet, if you will.

:) But we're all smilin', inside and out, and that's all that matters.

Merry Christmas, Princess, I hope your holidays didn't suck. Or perhaps I'm too late.

poodlegoose said...

Oh, god. That is a little painful. But funny. And that's all that matters after the painful is gone.

Z said...

Bwahaha! Oh, boy, have I been there... Many, many times. I feel your pain! :)

Jacqueline said...

I feel awkward spitting out wine at wine tastings to I always end up a little too tipsy as well!

I'm a semi-new reader of your blog so I need to read up on the back story of your latest post, but I did have to laugh at the irony of it all.

Katelin said...

haha oh man, totally something i would have said too. so funny, yet so awkward.

ZenDenizen said...

If anything the current gf should've felt more awkward.

Daisy said...

I agree it's kind of nice that his current girlfriend found it funny and not mortifying!! I love the idea of simmering in the awkwardness, I often have to do that with the Colonel's outbursts.

S. said...

*Crickets*

Haaaaaaaaa!!! I'm dying over here! I have to admit, I love the awkwardness does not stem from the foot that I have swallowed. (a RARE occasion)

Pour me another glass.

Lauren said...

WOW. That's hilarious and terribly, terribly awkward.

At least you can laugh about it after the fact, right?

Lisa said...

fabulous!

It was hillarious. I wish I was there.

MAH said...

Too funny, yet akward! But things like that come out of my mouth all the time, so I understand! Happy Holidays!!

chasinglibby said...

yeah, well at least you didn't say 'give it to me' to a coworker.


not that i did, either....

Yoda said...

OMG! That is terrrrrible!!

Your Hometown seems borderline incestuous ;-)