Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Things I do that may or may not be really odd

Yelling at my boyfriend while I'm sleeping.


So a few nights ago, I got home rather late from a concert, and the Duke was hard at work studying for the GREs. He wanted a little tutoring on some of the math concepts, so we chatted for about an hour. When I crawled into bed, I cursed in my head a little, because I realized I was going to less sleep than I had planned before my early morning and long workday. Not too big of a deal, though, as I have functioned on far less sleep.

... or maybe it was a bigger deal than I realized, as about an hour later, I started sleep-chastising my boyfriend. I apparently sternly told him that he should not keep me up when he knows I have an early morning, because now I was only going to get five hours of sleep. One especially weird things about it-- I was seriously dead asleep, yet when he looked at the clock, at that point, there was exactly five hours until I had to get up.

Being overly concerned about my massage therapist.

Recently, I decided that all the blood, sweat, tears and muscle knots created to submit my internship applications early warranted a little spoiling- a full-body massage, to be exact. As I was booked fairly early in the day, I briefly considered not having a shower, as the copious amounts of aromatherapy oils used tend to leave my hair in need of a second washing when I return home. But then I felt like I would be an asshole if I left my legs unshaven, for my massage therapist would be forced to rub my oiled-up stubble. So I had a shower anyways. It was only later that I realized that two day leg stubble was probably far less offensive than many of the bodies she rubs on a regular basis.

Making up characters when I'm playing computer solitaire.

I make the red Queens and the black Queens yell at each other in my head in different voices. They are actually quite catty. The Kings are generally pretty calm and focused throughout the game, while the Jacks act like frat boys, eager to get up on the Queens.

Talking to inanimate objects as though that is somehow more sane than talking to myself.

"Oh, no, I was just talking to the ketchup!"

Using up valuable brain power contemplating various ridiculous scenarios.

For instance, what would happen if I somehow acquired another person's sense of smell, so I was smelling what they were despite being miles away? Or if a stranger from across the world somehow hacked into my sense of vision, how long would it take them viewing the world through my eyes to figure out what city I lived in?

Cleaning while in the shower.

I keep a Magic Eraser behind my body wash, just in case the urge to clean strikes me whilst nude. I like to pretend it is because I am trying to conserve water by doing multiple tasks at once. Really, it is just because I'm neurotic, and some days I just want the soap scum to be gone.

So, what's the verdict? And what do you do that is equally odd?

17 comments:

P said...

I yelled at my clothes the other day for not being nice enough.

I felt really bad about it afterwards...

P.T said...

I talk to myself in different accents! LOL

miss. chief said...

I have a really boring long commute to school every day and sometimes I imagine somebody watching my life out my eyes. Or I pick a song on my IPod and pretend I'm in a music video

Mandy said...

Poor Duke! Haha.

I talk to myself (and sometimes inanimate objects) on a fairly regular basis.

Surfergrrl said...

ha ha! I do a lot of those things, specifically the magic eraser. Great product! :) I make up a voice for my cat as if he were talking to me. He sounds like a 12-year-old boy with a cold.

The Odd Duck said...

I also do the talking to myself (usually with gesturing and pacing) and inanimate objects.

The way I eat pizza. I take a fork and eat off the cheese and topping aside from a bit at the end. Then eat the crust.

I have OCD when it comes to our kitchen as I have a wash cloth right by the doorway in case I see something that needs a touch-up.

When I take medicine I pretty much always get sleepy. With some (like ibu profen) I go crazy. For example I have sung a song about flowers, trid to swim on the floor, and yelled at my friend in Japanese.

Meghan said...

I yell at my computer. Like, full on verbal abuse. If my computer would talk it would have low self esteem.

Ant said...

Mental. 100% certifiably batshit crazy.

Well yes, ok I can identify with the first two - sleep-talking is one of my biggest fears (y'know, because of the all the dark secrets...) and I get a little obsessive about pre-massage cleanliness too (sort of brought about when I read an article about some chap farting uncontrollably because he was so relaxed - thankfully, s'never happened to me yet).

qu33nbee said...

First off, the whole Jacks being frat boys kind of weirds me out, because in my head, the queens are the stern (yet also vocal, like your's) Moms. The Kings are the Dads, and the Jacks are the sons, obviously. And so for the Jacks to be eager to get all up on the queens, kind of weirds me out.

Also, I have an obsessive compulsion towards cleaning sinks. I love cleaning them. If I find a dirty one, at Walmart, at work, at home... just wherever, I will stop and spend like 10 minutes cleaning it. Weird right?

Katelin said...

haha that is awesome that you clean while you shower, i'll have to remember that one. i talk to myself on my drive to work every day, about what? it always varies and never makes any sense. i also take off my jewelry in the same way every night, it's weird otherwise.

Jade said...

I totally threaten inanimate objects all the time. Usually something along the lines of "It's been a long day and you do NOT want to pull this now." Oddly, they seem to listen.

And FWIW, I'm going to school for massage therapy and stubbly legs is really not a big deal; the oil goes right over it. The shower, however, we appreciate. ;-)

Kate said...

I am slightly concerned now that I was nodding along thinking to myself that those things aren't weird.

Maybe we'll get to meet in the asylum? Ugh.

When making a sandwich I sing along like I'm in the Hillshire Farm "Go Meat" commercials.

Also talking to parts of my body like they will listen. ie, "come on knees don't crack, don't crack"

lspoon said...

I also clean while in the shower but my excuse is that cleaning the shower is just so much easier naked. :)

a marmalade ricochet said...

-i hide from microwaves that happen to be in a state of 'on'
-have to take control of any cooking bacon that might be occurring in my proximity
-used to wash my ferrets when showering (similar principle to your showers, really)
-also think about interpersonal synesthesia (or would it be perithesia?)
-instantly fall asleep in cars if i'm not driving
-anthropomorphize chess pieces instead of face-cards (the king's an ineffectual al bundy type, queen's a haughty corporate lawyer, knight's a gay go-go dancer etc)
-am pretty sure the world is rife with conspiracy

eric1313 said...

I talk to myself about screwing up song que whilst reading my friend's blogs ...

But I'm not going to blam anyone in particular.

Anway, it's after last call, time to help everyone find the exit.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I once yelled at a pile of clothes....it gave me the stink eye!

I also have cleaned in the shower, using a bleach pen.

Print Brochures said...

Talking to inanimate objects as though that is somehow more sane than talking to myself.

- This is the best one by far. I think we're all guilty of this. I do that with animals too, but hey, at least my cat purrs and he knows I'm talking to him. LOL!