I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock!

Inspired by the amusing antics of oafish teenage boys on the bus today*, I thought about the best pick-up attempt** I had ever experienced.

About 3 or 4 years ago, making me somewhere in my early 20s, I was riding the bus home from the university. Staring out the window, I overheard a couple teenage boys talking.

"She's really hot."
"Go ask her, dude!"
... and so forth.

Given that my bus stopped by several high schools on the way home, I didn't give any of this much thought. Until a few minutes later, I hear an "excuse me", and look over to see a teenager guy of no more than maybe 14 standing beside my seat, with his friends watching.

"Um, I was wondering if I could have your phone number."
As I know this probably took a lot of guts, and he was being watched by other merciless teenagers, rather than informing him that for me to give him my phone number would likely place me on the road to statutory rape, I said "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend."

But, here comes his kicker of a reply!

"But is your boyfriend as fly as me?"

The kid does have balls! I suppress laughter and manage something non-committal like "He might be", as he struts back to his friends.

***

Okay, now, dear readers... let's hear your tales of when you were the victims of failed pick-up attempts!

***
To further inspire you, I am also including the story of one of the better attempts involving my younger sister.

When she was 15 and I was 18, we went on a cross-Canada trip on the beloved Greyhound bus. We stopped for a night in Winnipeg, and arrived early at the bus depot the next morning, ready to continue on in our journey.

She sat watching our bags as I went to the convenience store to buy snacks. As I came out, I see a really sleezy looking guy chatting her up. She looks frightened, but he still continues to try to pick her up with her big sister looming over him. Eventually, with continued refusals and numerous dirty looks from me, he goes on his way.

It turns out the guy lives right by the bus depot and was trying to get her to come home with him.
#1- She's FIFTEEN!!!
#2- He apparently regularly frequents the goddamn bus depot to pick up!
Telling him she has to catch a bus doesn't work, so she tries telling him she has a boyfriend-- to which he responds "Fuck him, I have a bigger dick that him anyways!"

Classy.

***

* These oafish teenage boys, who might not have even been 13, were trying to spit out the window at people, and made lewd comments about every woman on the bus. At one point, I saw them look at me and say something, but I had my headphones on and didn't hear anything. I then heard one of them say "Can you hear what we're saying?". I looked at them and nodded my head, and they looked really embarassed for a few moments. Then then continued talking about bitches they wanted to fuck and how one of them always felt like singing when he got high. I have such faith in the youth of today.

** It was hard to deem this the best pick-up attempt ever, especially when there was fierce competition from the homeless guy who tried to convince me that he did research, too, and wanted me to go to dinner at McDonalds with him.
Or the guy, who, after he asked me for money, asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I replied in the affirmative, he said "Do you want a better one?"

The etiquette challenge

Note: The ideas in the post are not wholly my own, as a number of them came up in a conversation with the ever-so-lovely Duke! Also inspired by John's noble attempt to stop over the shoulder privacy invading readers!

It becomes a little deflating when one realizes not only how much rudeness occurs in a big city, but the negative impact that other people's rudeness has upon you.
Maybe it is just the little bit of small town idealism that remains uncrushed within me, but I find myself sometimes becoming entirely angry and exhausted simply because of my experiences with people on a bus ride home or when getting groceries.

In isolation, these things are little, and each represent only a small act by one person.
Someone runs into you without saying sorry, or takes up an extra seat on the bus with their purse, or butts in line, or cuts you off in traffic.
Yet, these things build up to the point where some days they threaten to take you over.
In fact, one could argue these constant human discourtesies are part of what leads to so much hate in these cities. The frustration just builds to the point where people feel they have to direct it somewhere, anywhere.

The Duke had a good point in saying that perhaps stereotypical New Yorkers have it right. If you mess up in New York or do something rude, you will get called on it. And although the notion of having "fuck yous" sent your way for what may be an honest mistake may seem intimidating, at least being called on it, whether it is a lack of courtesy or an honest mistake will make you less likely to do it again.

In general, I am a bit of a passive person when it comes to interpersonal interactions with people I don't know. Some may even call me a doormat. I am super polite (again, it may be the small towner in me) and tend not to comment when someone does me some minor disservice.

However, after realizing the impacts these little things were having on me, I've been beginning to make conscious decisions to start calling people on these things. Not in major ways-- just baby steps.
For instance, in the past week, I held open the door for a woman leaving a coffee shop as I was coming in, rather than just barging in and making her wait. She just looked at me and didn't say a thing, so I shouted "You're welcome!" after her. Similarly, I deliberately walked straight into someone who was entering the train without letting me exit first (and then giggled about how I did it on purpose).

Passive-aggressive?
Very possibly.
Minor?
Arguably so.
However, it was still a big step for me, and an important one at that. I don't want to simply become jaded with the lack of basic human kindness that the city can sometimes throw at you.

So, my challenge to you all?
Start standing up every once in a while to these minor rudenesses (yes, I made that word up) that manage to weigh down on you.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

Last night, I was discussing with some friends the origins and versility of the word fuck.

One of them made the astute observation that, for all the word's flexibility, it had not yet been used as an abverb.

As such, we came up with the term "fuckly", which refers to doing something in a fucked manner. There are clearly several ways in which this can be used. For example, "He made an attempt to fuckly seduce me." or "She ran fuckly" (that would be me. I totally run like a girl. Even more like a girl that my identity as a girl should allow).

So, my mission to you, dear readers? Integrate "fuckly" into your regular vocabulary, and report back to me on how it goes!