Ugly critters and umbrella pennies

My God... I must have been keeping you all on pins and needles!

Without further ado...

The runner-up for the ugliest animal, with 27% of the vote is...

The Goblin Shark!!!

But apparently a super liver is not enough to guarantee a win, which instead went to, with 46% of your votes...



The Naked Mole Rat!!!

*shudder* I keep on thinking about how creepy it would be to accidentally touch on of those things... or even worse, if one, say, fell into the bathtub with you!

However, it is the winner, and thus deserves a little celebration. Thus, I present to you some random naked mole rat facts (with creepy photos to help you get to sleep tonight):

Not only do these creatures, as afore mentioned, feel no pain and move quickly in reverse-- they also dig with their teeth, and, as such, their lips seal behind their teeth to avoid filling their mouths with dirt... hence that charming toothy grin!


They also are virtually cold-blooded, unlike all other mammals, as they cannot regulate their body temperature. As such, they are restricted to locales with very consistent temperature. Specially, they are mostly found in the grasslands of East Africa.



The social system of the naked mole rat resembles that of bees and ants, rather than other mammals, in that within a colony of mole rats, only one female (known as the queen) and one to three males mate, whereas the rest of the colony members serve primarily as workers. Besides for one other form of mole rat, no other mammal species have this form of social system.



The naked mole rats primary diet? Giant tubers only found underground... and their own feces.

Speaking of ugly animals... look what greeted me as I came home tonight:


***

On a totally unrelated tangent, when I pulled out my umbrella from my bag today and opened it, right in the middle of it was a penny. Doesn't a penny in an umbrella sound like it would be a good omen by the standard of an old wives tale or something... you know, something shiny and surprising while preparing for a rainy day?
I feel like I could always use an extra dose of luck, so I'm rolling with it.

Ugly animal pageant!

One consequence of being an utter documentary geek is being exposed to a number of rather hideous beasts. After watching a show that consisted of numerous gelatinous walruses flailing about, I began pondering the various ugly animals out there, and how unloved they must feel in contrast to all the snuggly puppies and sleek cheetahs.

So why don't you do your part, and vote in the 1st Annual Hijinks Galore Ugly Animal Pangeant, and make one of these unfortunate little critters king or queen for a day!

Contender #1- The Hyena

Creepy cackles. Matted hair. Sharp teeth. Scavenging tendencies. A diet for carrion. Not to mention inverted anal glands. How hideous is this guy?

Contender #2- The Elephant Seal

It takes a special something to uglify the typical adorable face of a seal. An enormous snout is just that special something. It also helps make the males of the species sound particularly boisterous. Even more of a testament to their repulsiveness is the fact that the male's schnozz is so big in order reabsorb moisture, as during the mating season these lumps never leave the beach to feed.

Contender #3- The Warthog

Contrary to what you might expect from a warty creature who could use a toothbrush and a comb, and spends a wee bit too much time wallowing in the mud, these guys have impressive jumping skills... and a prosmiscuous mating system.

Contender #4- Goblin Shark

Thought I was neglecting our undersea friends? Don't you worry- the goblin shark can hold his own in this competition. He also does a good job at holding onto his liver-- which may inexplicably make up 25% of its body weight! Maybe he has a particular fondness for the sauce? He could certainly use his nose to pry open a few bottles!

Contender #5- Muscovy Duck

I also have not forgotten about our avian friends... particularly, the Muscovy Duck, whose faces unfortunately resemble raw hamburger. Sadly enough, the apparent tumours on their faces are not enough to keep people from dining on them, with one company advertising them as the finest duck available!

Contender #6- Matamata turtle

I'm not entirely sure how this massive skull even allows this critter to move. It is perhaps telling that it tends to merely fit at the bottom of a shallow body of water, extend its nose up like a snorkle to breathe, and captures fish through the power of suction.
Residents of Venezuela, who have perhaps caught onto this pageant, also call them "la fea", meaning the ugly one.

Contender #7- Frogfish

Fitting with their curmedgeonly appearance, these grumpy guys have a wee little lure that protrudes from between their eyes designed to best catch prey (you can't see it well in that photo, but I was intent on showing a full shot of his mug, rather than just a specific curiosity)

Contender #8- Proboscis monkey

I know it may seem as though, looking at the above contenders, that being a champ at this pageant is as simple as having an enormous nose.
I don't necessarily disagree.
However, there is more to this primate than its more obvious traits... like its stupendous swimming abilities. Proboscis monkeys have been found swimming over a mile away from shore!

Contender #9- Marabou Stork

It probably doesn't help the Marabou Stork's case that not only does it look like it has survived a massive blaze, but it also has adapted so few head feathers to best avoid flesh getting caught in its plumage when delving into corpses. Oh, and it is known for defecating on its own legs.


Contender #10- Naked Mole Rat

Last, but certainly not least, is the naked mole rat. These are indeed super rodents, who can move as quickly backwards as they can forwards, and actually, due to the absence of a neurotransmitter, actually feel no physical pain. Although they likely experience a great deal of psychological pain when they look in the mirror.

So, ladies and gents, those are your contenders! You have a week to get your votes in! And I certainly hope to have a better voter turn-out that my last animal pageant...
That's right-- I'm guilt-tripping you!


PS. Special thanks to my new fav website, Ugly Overload, for some material. I promise you the pageant and some of the contenders came straight from my brain... but I got a little help from them, otherwise there would have been hairless cats instead of naked mole rats!

Tortoise Thursday

I know you have been waited with bated breath...

I'm proud to announce the winner of the Badass of The Galapagos contest: The Giant tortoise!



And yet another fact to seal their badass status- these giant creatures mate for several hours at a time! You know the vampire finch doesn't have that kind of stamina.
And the one in the photo will likely outlive us all. He's laughing on his throne.

***

Lesson of the day: Even in the coldest part of year, pandas are unable to hibernate because their diet of bamboo is not high enough in fat content.

***

Secret talent of the week:
I played Dance Factory, the cheapskate's version of Dance Dance Revolution this week.

Knowing my history of clumsiness, you would expect I would be utterly miserable at it.

Strangely enough, I actually wasn't half bad! I managed to pull off some fancy footwork to a little Rihanna and score a B on my first go-round.

Even better was the fact that you could put in your own CDs- and my friend, for some reason, still had a Kris Kross CD. Nothing like busting a move to the original mack daddies.

Although I probably didn't look quite as hot as the woman on the cover... I wasn't about to challenge my new found coordination by trying it in stilletos!

***

While being a psychotherapist can often be the most intrinsically rewarding aspect of my life, it sometimes feels like a incredibly thankless role.

***

A man stopped me as I waited for the bus home this evening to tell me that I was beautiful and had made his day. He then told me to tell my husband he had said so (I decided to collude with him on the existence of my husband), and let me get on the bus, with a wave goodbye.
It was so refreshing get a genuine complement like that with no ulterior motives-- I think women get far too used to their beauty being noted primarily as part of a seduction attempt.

Quest for the Galapagos Bad Ass Continues...

Okay, guys.
I'm a little disappointed.
Perhaps I am one of the only geeks (high fives to those who did participate- and don't fret, as your votes will still be considered!) to get excited about this contest. At first I thought it was probably just poor turnout over the weekend-- but then site meter told me that people are still visiting the blog-- but apparently not voting!

You have a voice, readers!
Think about the poor brother killing booby baby who hasn't even received one vote.

In an attempt to remedy this situation (because I don't have much faith in my guilt-tripping abilities), I have created a simple and easy poll. You don't even need to comment (although I always appreciate that)-- just click a button!
It is lurker-friendly... you don't need to identify yourself!

It'll only count one vote from one person at a particular location, but for those of you are especially invested, or can't decided between, say, the two iguanas, you can be crafty and vote from work and home!

Excitement!

Winner to be crowned in a week.

Lesson of the day extravaganza-- Bad asses of the Galapagos Islands

This movie is pure goodness. I'm seriously going to marry the BBC simply on the basis of their documentaries (and their hot abs).

The Galapagos Islands, almost 1000 km off the coast of Ecuador, are the inspiration for Darwin's theory of evolution. They contain a myriad of animals that exist nowhere else on Earth, and have adapted in amazing ways to the harsh and unique terrain of the islands.

In an attempt to breath life back into an idea I had near the beginning of my blog, the bad asses of the animal kingdom series, I present to you a smattering of the bad asses of the Galapagos.

Humour me and vote for the baddest of them all. The creature will get the joy of a photoshopped crown of some sort in a future post... and all associated glory.

Bad Ass #1- The Marine Iguana

The marine iguana is the only modern lizard that has the ability to swim.
But they don't only swim... they dive off massive cliffs into water as deep as 15 meters for up to half an hour just to munch on some algae, then dodge hordes of chasing sealions to scale back up the cliff again.



Bad Ass #2- The Galapagos Land Iguana

Not to be outdone by their marine counterparts, the females of this species will scale up to the top of volcanoes to find the best places to lay eggs, and will brawl other women to obtain the best spot. If there are no spots to be had at the top, they will crawl down a cliff into a volcanic crater!


Bad Ass #3- The Nazca Booby

The Nazca booby may look a little dull when compared to its more famous Galapagos cousin, the Blue-Footed Booby.
However, these creatures are vicious from birth. Two booby babies (yes, I'm immature and giggled while writing that) are always born several days apart, and the eldest, nearly without fail, pushes his/her younger sibling out of the nest where he/she dies in front of his/her seemingly uncaring mother's eyes!

Bad Ass #4- The Giant Tortoise

Over 500 lbs and live over 150 years. They don't even need to do anything to be bad ass!
Although do they eat cactus with the spines on.









Bad Ass #5- The Galapagos Penguin

How can penguins essentially living on the ecuator not be bad ass?




















Bad Ass #6- Vampire Finch

Pssh, you may say. How can a wee little finch be bad-ass?
By feeding on the blood of blue-footed boobies, that's how!
(That is seriously the most ominous photo ever)





***

And a few creatures that don't quite fit the contest, but are still cool nonetheless.

Frigate bird

The fact that they viciously attack other sea birds and relentlessly seduce the ladies with their throbbing orange throat certainly sounds bad ass- but these avian casanovas are found elsewhere in the world, and thus excluded from competition.



Ghost crab

Though the fact that their awesome eyes mean they can have 360 degree vision, these guys also aren't unique to the Galapagos, and cannot be in competition for the crown.






Now, what are you waiting for, people?? Go vote!

Lesson(s) of the day and some mollusk induced memories

My new suite is a semi-basement suite, in that you take a few steps below ground level to get to the front door. I have discovered that slugs like to reside on the walls of my front stoop... which got me to reminiscing.

I grew up on a ten-acre hobby farm, which happened to be rife with slugs, amongst other creatures. While other girls were grossed out by such creepy-crawlies, my sister and I were picking them up with our bare hands, burying them in our sandbox, and then wondering why they no longer moved when we dug them up again. I also have a rather foul memory of a friend playing hop-scotch in her bare feet... and landing right on one of those unfortunate creatures.

So, with all these fond memories brought back by the slimy critter on my doorstep, I decided to do a little googling about slugs, assuming there was a lesson of the day factoid or two to be found.

Turns out there are several...

While they are growing from little sluglets (scientific term, I swear!) into full grown slugs, these guys undergo torsion, which is a fancy word for 180 degree twisting of their body organs!

Wikipedia actually has a warning that precautions should be taken when eating raw slugs, as people have came down with meningitis as a result (just because I saw all your mouths watering after that first photo)

Slime is quite the lubrication during banana slug sex. Apparently some actually consume each other's slime during the "event", while others suspend themselves from places with their slime while getting a little slug love!

All slugs are born hermaphrodites-- however, for some, this doesn't last too long. During mating, the slug's corkscrew like penises often get, well, twisted together, and they have to engage in what is called apophallation, which is just a fancy name for chewing their penises off. They then live the rest of their lives as the fairer sex.
I was going to post a picture of slug sex, but I figured that may be a little much. So here's a picture of slugs in love instead.



And, in my eyes at least, slug is the animal name that most suits its beneficiary (is there any better word to describe a slug than slug? It just sounds squishy, slow, and slimy!)

A few thoughts on jealousy

Today a friend of mine was telling me about his T.A. evaluation forms. As a general rule, if you are remotely attractive, you will get at least one comment completely irrelevant to your teaching skills about your appearance (I guess that's what happens when you give undergrads the powers of anonymity). My personal favourite that I have received was "Strength: Hot. Weakness: Not enough information presented" (come on- couldn't you have given me an equally shallow weakness, like saying you hated my shoes?)

Anyways, my friend apparently (and comically) received a comment about a student's fondness for his pecs. Shockingly, his girlfriend (who is notorious for his controlling ways-- my friends and I are in her bad books for keeping a 27 year old man out past midnight) did not find this amusing or flattering. She was actually jealous, and told him that he was going to have to start wearing more to class. What... like twelve layers so that the outline of his chest is suitably shadowed?

***

Evolutionary psychologists argue that jealousy is evolutionary advantageous, in that it serves to prevent the negative effects of infidelity and partner loss on our reproductive success. However, I am generally of the mind that jealousy is one of the more wasteful emotions. It has the capacity to sap our thoughts and emotions dry, and in its extreme forms, probably is more successful in driving people towards the very things it supposedly evolved to prevent.

Overall, I'm a believer in trust, perhaps in part because I know my partners have good reason to trust me. This is not to say that it hasn't bitten me in the past, but I have been pretty lucky. Besides, really, would jealousy have prevented any past betrayals or infidelities? Is someone who is bent on cheating going to be swayed by their partner's irritation or accusations?

While I do recognize a few twinges as relatively natural (my ex's ex-girlfriend, who he remained friends with, was actually in a rap video in her bikini... I grated my teeth really hard when he wanted to record the video), I don't react well to it being thrown about my way in any excessive form. Perhaps it is because I know I am trustworthy-- but I actually get very defiant if any accusations come my way. Even worse is the patronizing jealousy, such as past boyfriends suggesting that they have the right to be jealous because I am so naive as to my male friends lecherous intentions.

It just seems weird that we live in a culture where possessiveness is a greater sign of love than trust.

***

And a lesson of the day, thrown in for good measures: Jealousy even has its own paraphilia (aka. fetish)-- zelophilia!

Lesson of the day slash exposure therapy

A preamble:
I hate spiders. A lot.
It is very possible I may have full-blown arachniphobia, as my fear is not logical. I can have my face a few inches away, marvelling at an insect... and the second I see that extra pair of legs, my heart starts pounding.
The other problem is that, being in the field I'm in, I know exactly what the treatment for this phobia entails... either imagining contact with spiders or actual contact with spiders.
No dice.
So I keep my can of toxic poison handy, remain generally vigilent, and try to do some minor exposure therapy on my own... that is, dealing with the little ones and daddy long legs myself (sans poison).

Hence comes this post. As I was making dinner this evening, the Duke flipped channels to PBS and a documentary about spiders. I had the weirdest reaction... I became fixated, because the stuff is actually really fascinating, but also hyperaroused in a panicky way. I was nervous AND interested-- my geeky interest in such things was competing with my natural fear reaction.

In the hopes of continuing this progress, I decided to write about the random facts I learned about spiders. And, even post pictures.

And I'm convinced something is crawling up my leg at this very instant.

***

Lesson #1- The raft spider, which invaded the U.K a few years ago, not only can walk on water... it also catched and eats fish!!!

Lesson #2- The desert spider women are known for snacking on their mates post-coitus.
The crafty male, however, prevents his demise by releasing a pheremone that knocks the she-devil out, at which point he promptly has his way with her.
Even worse? The narrator of the show was way too excited about this spider sexual-assault. In fact, I stole the phrase "have his way with her" from him.

Lesson of the day

In Venezuala, the 4300 square km man made Lake Guri was created when a tremendous dam was built. As a result, a number of artificial islands were created.



As a testament to the impact of human decisions, these island are being overrun with over 5 times as many iguanas as naturally occur, as well as 10 times the density of howler monkeys (they don't even bother howling anymore, because the overpopulation has turned them a little individualistic due to the frantic nature of survival), and something like 50-100 the normal number of leaf cutter ants (which are tearing apart any remaining vegetation).


Scientists believe that this has occurred because all the natural predators of these creatures (such as jaguars) disappeared during the floods.

***
I learnt this during a seriously sweet documentary in a series entitled Strange Days on Planet Earth. Added bonus? Hosted by Mr. Edward Norton. He shakes his finger at all you non-PBS lovers out there.

Lesson of the day and why I love tide pools!

The gumboot chiton may look a little dull in comparison to some of the other fancy undersea creatures.



But don't let it's appearance fool you....

This bad ass has a tongue that is partially made out of iron, so it can best scrape the bottom of the sea! It even rusts at times!

It is also a crafty critter. It often lets a worm live in its gills... and the worm will attack predators that come after the chiton!

***

After learning these fun facts about the chiton, and many other sea creatures, my guy and I went to the ocean today, scaled some rocks, and found a really amazing tidepool.



It is incredible how these unassuming little puddles contain such thriving life when you take an extra look. We saw anemones, a few different types of crabs, and stripey fish. It was somehow oddly exciting to have found this little cranny only 10 minutes away from throngs of tourists, but to be the only people crouching by it.
I like catching the things that other people miss.

Lesson of the day

If you weren't already convinced of the awesomeness that is the meerkat... they dine on poisonous scorpions, as they are immune to their poison.



Cute and badass!

Lesson of the day

The Malaysian Orchid Mantis is a master of disguise (even more so than Dana Carvey, believe it or not!)





Crickets are pretty much sitting ducks.
I would be, too, if I were bite sized for a mantis! Who would suspect the pink flower?

Lesson of the day

The blue whale can be up to two times larger than the biggest dinosaur!



You'd think I would be training to be a marine biologist rather than a psychologist if my lessons of the day were any indication.

Lesson of the day

The narwhal's tusk is actually its tooth! It should have been entered in the bad asses of the ocean contest.

I seriously love National Geographic podcasts.

Bad asses of the ocean

Bad Ass # 1- Phacellophora camtschatica, aka. the fried egg jellyfish.
This guy is a cannibal! It uses its big poisonous tentacles to trap other innocent little jellyfish, and slowly pulls them in, letting them struggle hopelessly, until it eats them.



Bad ass #2- The Humboldt Squid
This vicious mofo also occasionally dabbles in cannabalism. And I quote: "The squid use the sharp, barbed suckers on their feeding tentacles to pierce the flesh of prey and drag it to their mouths where a fierce, baseball-sized beak tears it to shreds." Although they tend to focus on the more typical prey, like lanternfish and shrimp, they have been nicknamed "diablos rojos" ("red devils" in Spanish- side note, that sounds way more bad ass in spanish; side note #2- red devil was also the nickname of my evil 70s style metal framed backpack I used when backpacking though Costa Rica. That thing was a true bad ass), due to their tendencies to attack divers. They also flash several different colours when attacking. Some suggest this is due to vicious squid rage (that's the technical term).



Bad ass #3- California Mantis shrimp.
It was hard to find a picture of this guy! Every time I did a google image search, all I got back were images of shrimp cocktails and shrimp sandwiches. Although this guy doesn't look very tough, they are seriously hardcore. They are really antagonist and will fight off anything that threatens them- I saw one scare off a hungry octopus. Furthermore, their claws are faster than a .22 caliber bullet and can break through double safety glass. I'm pretty much hiring one as my bodyguard.



Bad ass #4- Wolf eel
Look at this guy! Do I even have to explain? He is totally making that sea cucumber his bitch! He also regularly dines on super spiny sea anemomes. And he has one hell of a heinous mug. Okay, so apparently the wolf eel is actually remarkably gentle and prefers to spend time at home with the missus than out whoopin' fish ass. I don't believe it. This guy totally eats whales for breakfast.


Bad ass #5- Nudibranch
This guy looks like a big mass of goo. But don't let its tame appearance fool you. It launches sneak attacks on tube anenomes. While most predators can't eat the tube anemones, because of their super venomous tentacles, the nudibranch rips them off, and through some super digestive process, eats them and somehow has the stinging cells transferred to their back for their own defense. Double burn to the anenome! And I watched these big lumps totally avoid a sneak attach by a big lumbering sea star.



Bad ass #6- Crown of thorns sea star
Look at it. Do I even need to explain?






So, yeah, the Duke and I went to see Deep Sea Imax in 3-D today , hence my wealth of knowledge. It was seriously one of the coolest things ever. Very highly recommended. It looked like jellyfish were inches from my face! The kids beside me were trying to battle off enormous octopii. I was giggling like a little girl when scallops ran away from bumbling sea stars, and I jumped when sharks came towards me.

Votes for the most bad ass??

Do you like how I'm pretending that someone actually reads my blog??

I'm totally going to make up alter-egos and vote.