I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock!

Inspired by the amusing antics of oafish teenage boys on the bus today*, I thought about the best pick-up attempt** I had ever experienced.

About 3 or 4 years ago, making me somewhere in my early 20s, I was riding the bus home from the university. Staring out the window, I overheard a couple teenage boys talking.

"She's really hot."
"Go ask her, dude!"
... and so forth.

Given that my bus stopped by several high schools on the way home, I didn't give any of this much thought. Until a few minutes later, I hear an "excuse me", and look over to see a teenager guy of no more than maybe 14 standing beside my seat, with his friends watching.

"Um, I was wondering if I could have your phone number."
As I know this probably took a lot of guts, and he was being watched by other merciless teenagers, rather than informing him that for me to give him my phone number would likely place me on the road to statutory rape, I said "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend."

But, here comes his kicker of a reply!

"But is your boyfriend as fly as me?"

The kid does have balls! I suppress laughter and manage something non-committal like "He might be", as he struts back to his friends.

***

Okay, now, dear readers... let's hear your tales of when you were the victims of failed pick-up attempts!

***
To further inspire you, I am also including the story of one of the better attempts involving my younger sister.

When she was 15 and I was 18, we went on a cross-Canada trip on the beloved Greyhound bus. We stopped for a night in Winnipeg, and arrived early at the bus depot the next morning, ready to continue on in our journey.

She sat watching our bags as I went to the convenience store to buy snacks. As I came out, I see a really sleezy looking guy chatting her up. She looks frightened, but he still continues to try to pick her up with her big sister looming over him. Eventually, with continued refusals and numerous dirty looks from me, he goes on his way.

It turns out the guy lives right by the bus depot and was trying to get her to come home with him.
#1- She's FIFTEEN!!!
#2- He apparently regularly frequents the goddamn bus depot to pick up!
Telling him she has to catch a bus doesn't work, so she tries telling him she has a boyfriend-- to which he responds "Fuck him, I have a bigger dick that him anyways!"

Classy.

***

* These oafish teenage boys, who might not have even been 13, were trying to spit out the window at people, and made lewd comments about every woman on the bus. At one point, I saw them look at me and say something, but I had my headphones on and didn't hear anything. I then heard one of them say "Can you hear what we're saying?". I looked at them and nodded my head, and they looked really embarassed for a few moments. Then then continued talking about bitches they wanted to fuck and how one of them always felt like singing when he got high. I have such faith in the youth of today.

** It was hard to deem this the best pick-up attempt ever, especially when there was fierce competition from the homeless guy who tried to convince me that he did research, too, and wanted me to go to dinner at McDonalds with him.
Or the guy, who, after he asked me for money, asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I replied in the affirmative, he said "Do you want a better one?"