Join my club!

For those of you not familiar with the notion of hipsters, I present to you the Wikipedia definition. I also admit that, at least according to the music and filmmaker subsection of this definition, I have a bit of hipster in me, so take this whole post with a grain of salt!

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After a lovely date of Mexican food and sangria, the Duke and I split up for the evening, as he had an indie concert to attend. However, on the way to the train, we got into a conversation about the likely hipsters that were going to be there, and eventually decided that we should start some sort of unhipster (and very geekish!) club based on a key tenets:

#1- Members shall always claim that a newly hip band's second album is better than their first, or even better, that their major label debut is clearly superior to their independent original release.

#2- Members shall recognize that Space Oddity and the Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust can hardly be considered the best of David Bowie. Instead, Bowie clearly reached the peak of his career with the release of Let's Dance.

#3- Members also recognize that musicians tend to make their best work once they have sobered up. Prime example: Metallica's St. Anger.

#4- Members agree that large stadiums are clearly better concert venues than small intimate clubs. Furthermore, back-up dancers and costume changes clearly make the music better!


#5- Members recognize that, contrary to popular opinion, The Message by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, Rapper's Delight by the Sugerhill Gang, and Walk this Way by Run DMC are not the songs that brought hip hop music to the mainstream. This feat was accomplished by Humpty Hump's catchy little ditty "The Humpty Dance".

#6- Members shall swear on a stack of Bibles that Phil Collins was a better frontman to Genesis than was Peter Gabriel.

#7- Members will proclaim to anyone who listens that Kraftwerk really hit his stride in the late 90s.




#8- Members scorn zombie films. Instead, they prefer both teen horror films from the 90s (double bonus if it stars Jennifer Love Hewitt!), made-for-TV-movies (triple bonus if it stars Jennifer Love Hewitt!) and Elvis musicals from the 50s.

#9- Members shall forego small independent coffee houses serving only organic free trade java. Even Starbucks will be considered too off the beaten path. Instead, they will get their coffee fix only from McDonalds or 7-11.









#10- Members shall consider functionality as dominant over style. As such, fanny packs will become de rigeur among members, due to their convenience and availability in all sorts of awesome colours! Giant rain slickers will also be worn for practicality sake.

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So.. what do you guys think?? I still need a name for my club and a vice-treasurer. New tenets are always appreciated, too! But you better hurry if you want to join, as spots for the Saturday night Bingo Game are filling up- and I'm making macaroni salad and bringing out my showtunes collection!