To Z

It's funny to know that you can go about your day, and later find out that your friend is dead.

It seems like you should somehow just know. Like the world should tell you through some series of signs that something just isn't right. I even wrote you an email after you were already gone.

I feel dirty that I was out laughing and drinking last night, while your husband was grieving. I know this is nonsensical, but I feel guilty.

I'm sorry I didn't know.

***

I want to write about all that was amazing about you, all that defined you, and how I can't figure out how someone so full of life can just be taken away one night in her sleep. But right now I just can't.