Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Enquiring minds want to know- Part deux

It's time to bust out the hideous tacky metaphors and hop on the train back to Princess-land!

(Damn, how epically lame was that? I am almost embarrassed enough to delete it. Almost.)
Anyways, if you folks remember way wayyyy back, you asked me a few questions. I made one stellar attempt to answer them... and now it's on to Round Two!

Valerie asked "What's your best physical feature?"
My personal favourite is my dimple. 
Yes, that's dimple, singular.
I have a single prominent dimple at the top of my left cheek. I think it accentuates my smile rather nicely, if I do say so myself.
My mother actually theorizes that, since I have no birth mark to be seen, my dimple serves as a bit of a replacement.

Autobiography of my feet asked "What do you like most about yourself?"
Wow, so much egotism in one post!!
I like the fact that I am a reasonably well-balanced person.
I am generally social, but I am comfortable with alone time.
I work hard and play hard.
I know when to be serious and when to be playful.
Etc, etc...

Distracted Spunk wondered "What's your favourite stuffed animal and do you sleep with it?"
Uh-oh. Busted.
Meet Jenny!
And, what do you know, another long-winded anecdote coming your way...

The Jenny you see is in fact Jenny #2. Jenny #1 was my constant companion as a young child. I have vivid memories of playing Winnie the Pooh with her as rabbit in the elaborate legs of my mom's antique rocking chair (specifically, the one where Pooh eats too much honey and can't get out of the front of Rabbit's burrow).

When I was only around 5 or 6, we met to a local festival. Of course, I brought my Best Bunny along for the trip. 

Of course, Jenny had to come along when I went to the washroom. She heard all the mean teenagers (they could have been 8, for all I know-- they sounded dangerous) pounding on the door for me to hurry up.

And, silly Jenny, perhaps feeling a little confrontational, decided to stay behind in the washroom.

I got to the outside of the restaurant before I realized my floppy eared friend was oddly not clasped in my arms. My father and I frantically dashed up the stairs-- but the bathroom was officially Jenny-free. The door pounding jerks had abducted her.

I mourned the loss of Jenny with all the fervour a 5-year old could muster.

And promptly found a new best friend when my Great Uncle surprised me with Jenny #2.

One more fact about Jenny #2?
She was one hell of a pop star.
In fact, she was the lead singer of my sister and I's stuffed animal band, the Bunny Rabbits (the name was a bit of a lie... there was an elephant on drums).
She even cut an album with the band.
(Okay, really, it was my sister and I crooning our self-penned songs, such as "The Bunny Hop", into the ubiquitous 80s Fisher Price tape recorders.)
Jenny sleeps on the little ledge beside my bed, usually. Although I feel the need to conceal her eyes whenever the bed is used for purposes other than sleeping. It feels a little dirty otherwise.

Libby asked "Why do you think the word lurking has such a creepy/criminal in a dark alley connotation?"
It really is an unfortunate term. It seems a little unfair to equate reading someone's public blog without commenting with ominously sneaking behind telephone poles and slashing tires.
I think it is the visceral "urk" sound in it. Can you think of anything pleasant that ends in "urk"? It sounds like you just swallowed something lumpy.

Eric1313 asked "What is the wildest thing anyone ever googled to find your page? More importantly, would you be interested in writing a story to match that query?"

Okay, now, this is going to sounds odd, especially given all the people who thrive on reciting the weird searches that some end up linking to their page... but I've actually disabled google searches from finding my page.
Reason being? Plain ol' paranoia. With a dash of wish for freedom.

After I noticed someone in my city searching for a picture of the costume I had coincidentally just worn a day or two prior (my killer homemade Paperbag Princess costume!), I kind of panicked, and used Yoda's tips to rid searches from reaching to your blog. 

Though I still keep my content pretty non-identity revealing, I like the notion that I can say "I'm a Canadian psychology graduate student" and not have to worry about someone who knows me finding me that way (there is not a huge mass of us, really).

The problem is, then, that I don't have a list of all the crazy search terms that led to me before. Pretty much everything I wrote about with the term "naked", "sex" or "sluts" added to it (e.g., yoga sluts). A lot of narwhals, for some reason. And salt-water onions??

Oh yeah! Now I remember! "Porn star with a PhD"!
Apparently some guys really do like smart girls! (although it may only be in a very specific, um, context)
But, really, Eric, do you want to hear some tragic tale of a woman with a PhD in Philosophy ended up getting more recognition for her straight-to-DVD endeavours rather than her dissertation?

Princess Polly asked "What celebrity do you hate the most?"
Shaquille O'Neal.
Hate him.
So much.

I actually wrote of my hate for him back in my days of empty comment boxes.

A sample of my rant?
4) [reason I hate Shaq] The "rap" career. You thought Shaq-Fu was bad??
There is actually a best of Shaquille O'Neal album in existence!
Brilliant lyrics of his include:
Who the hell is Shaq Attack? You'd better catch a vapor
I've got mad props so why would you exploit
Punch you in your face like that kid from Detroit
Really yo you'd better ask MC Hammer 'bout this bad mama jama
Tall kid with the hoopa hypa lipta-gramma
Hoopa hypa lipta-gramma? I will ask MC Hammer, because he could school your ass in a rap-off!

A close second? Dr. Phil.
Who I have more academic publications than, by the way.

Brandy wanted to know my favourite type of cookies...
White chocolate macadamia nut. Mmmmm.

... Reason you most often give for canceling plans
I'm mad busy with grad school stuff.
(I love how vague you can be with what that "stuff" may be).

... Best memory with your sister.
I'm going to go with our cross-Canada trip when I was 18 and she was 15. Though it was on the Greyhound (for which my hatred is epic),  who conveniently lost our bags, there were a lot of amazing stops along the way, such as staying in a hostel that used to be a prison in Ottawa, gallavanting around Vieux Montreal, and swimming in the Atlantic Ocean. It was probably both of our first real touches of unstructured freedom. It was also the last summer before I moved away.

Love-ly-sa asked about my favourite holiday treat, any holiday, any treat.
I can't just pick one, so you get one for each the three greatest holidays for someone with a sweet tooth.
Valentine's Day- Hershey's Hugs
Hallowe'en- Candy corn
Christmas- Butter tarts

Sheila wanted to know about my first concert.
First off, I'm gonna' assume that Charlotte Diamond doesn't count. Though she totally rocked my pre-school once. It was pretty awesome.

My first *real* concert was none other than the queen of teen angst herself, Alanis Morisette. 
This was when I was 14, and rabidly obsessed with her.
When my 3-week boyfriend dumped me, I listened to "You Oughta Know" on my cassette walkman as I watched him walk down the hall.
(Side note-- I had no idea about the real meaning of "go down on you in a theatre" at that point)
I grew up in a small town, though, with Wide Mouth Mason being the only band you'd ever might have heard of who came there (what? You haven't heard of them? Their homeland of Saskatchewan frowns upon you.)
As such, seeing her live was never even a considered possibility to me. 
And I didn't think anything of it when my parents were on the phone all day once to supposedly secure tickets for an out-of-town show by Bob "Night Moves" Seger.

You can imagine how shocked I was when they surprised me, my little sis and my foster sister with tickets for my idol, Miss Alanis.
And, thus, my dad had the good luck (and grace) to take us on a summer weekend camping trip down to the States for the show. And somehow managed not to snap while having Jagged Little Pill on repeat the entire ride down.

I can't testify to the musical quality of the show, in hindsight. I was just so thrilled to be in the same venue as her, and to be actually singing along with her voice. 

My dad was probably a very happy man when we lost our voices on the way back.

***

I know, I know, I still haven't answered all your burning questions. 
But, without sounding terribly cliched, it is best to stop when you're ahead, as I'm unsure of how many people have even gotten passed the eyestrain to read this far.
Only one more installment on its ways!

37 comments:

Psychgrad said...

You got a tonne of great questions. How do you eliminate google searches?

I'm so glad there is another psychology graduate student from Canada around. Do you know of any others who still live in Canada and update a blog?

I think the word lurk also creates an image of a suspicious person, in a back alley hiding in the shadows. So, perhaps both the word connotation and sound make it a negative word. Maybe something more like passive reader, as opposed to an active reader would be more neutral. Not quite as jazzy as the word lurker, though.

distractedspunk said...

As I snorted and laughed my entire way through...

I wonder if they make goggles for stuffed animals. Would make doing the dirty less stressful.

brandy said...

I love reading these types of Q &A posts, you learn so much. I'm iffy on Dr. Phil, I used to think he was the greatest thing ever back when he was on Oprah (because yes, I used to watch Oprah) but ever since he got his own show... meh.

And I like saying I have 'school stuff' to do as well. It does make a girl sound swamped.

Clueless Cat said...

omg -

1. I have a stuffed bunny too, whose real name is Alice but whom I call Bunny most of the time. I also feel like i have to hide her/remove her from my bed when non-sleeping activities take place in my bed.

2. Sisterly bonding is the best. :) I love my lil one!

3. My first concert was also Alanis. lol

we have so much in common ;)

ana said...

Hahaha "urk" great answers. You are adorkable...yes you are.

OMG I listened to "you oughtta know" during my break up...I loved Alanis then (and to an extent still do)

SMARTBuddy said...

How about Turk, off of Scrubs. He has to be considered pleasant- unless you catch him mid lurk I suppose!

sequined said...

I make my stuffed animals "avert their eyes" when I bring guys home. I feel like they shouldn't see those things.

I worry about google searches for my page, but on the other hand, I can't imagine how anyone looking for me would find my page that way. But now you have me worried again.

captain corky said...

I kind of like Shaq, but I never listened to any of his rap songs. He's a fantastic actor though...

lspoon said...

I'm s sad for you that you lost Bunny. I think I would curl up anddie if that had happened to me. So lucky you have a nice uncle who's willing to replace him!

Maxie said...

I hate Dr. Phil too.

And your story about your bunny made me sad :-( I can't believe those kids
bunnynapped him.

Ant said...

Very amusing! :-)

I love your dimple too - it was one of the first things I noticed when we met and think it is ever-so-cute...

autobiographyofmyfeet said...

I, too, have eliminated google searches - sort of. I still get one popping up every few days, which I don't understand.

the frog princess said...

I loathe Dr. Phil with an indescribable passion.

Also, excellent Cookie & Treat choices... you are making me hungry...

fort knocks said...

I have a hateful hybrid: combine Shaq (overrated basketball player) with "anything that rhymes with lurk," and what do you get? That's right: Dirk, as in Dirk Novitski, the albino German wookie who sucks harder than a vacuum.
Fun post.

Lacey Bean said...

I have a "Jenny". Except mine is an absolutely filthy rag doll clown named "Dolly" (creative, I know), that Dave (the bf) absolutely despises. And when he's not in bed with me, Dolly is. :)

Michelle said...

ok were those seriously some of shaq's lyrics? like real ones he actually sang on an album? i may hate him now too.

eric1313 said...

Point taken.

However, if the hijinks of said Philosophy major turned porn movie actress were important/weird enough, maybe they story should be heard.

The voice from the margin is far more interesting than a voice from the center. If the world only knows a person at a skin deep level, then their internal story is all the more crucial. How else do we debunk the glamorization of objectifying the young women on the fringes of our society? Her story must be brought to the front, lest it is lost in the swirling eddies of all the other sad tales about lives cast in the harsh light of a hotel room porn set.

Besides, seediness makes for wonderful subject matter!

That aside, I understand about the protection your anonymity.

Other than that, I hope your day is going well and bringing you a step closer to your goal.

Peace out

Sheila said...

I still slept with my favorite stuffed animal until I got married (at the young age of 20)! When I am sick, my daughter will bring me one of hers for comfort.

The first "real" concert I went to was Duran Duran (during the 1980's) with my brother and my best friend. It was awesome!

Valerie said...

My first "rock concert" was in 1997, and it was Bush and Veruca Salt. My two friends and I were obsessed. One of them kept getting on my nerves outside the venue because she kept saying "Oh my God there's Gavin!" when he was nowhere to be seen. I literally wanted to strangle her.

Lisa said...

The Bunny Rabbits? Hahaha. You know I'm loving this, right? Hi, Jenny!!

Lisa said...

Also, I can't stand Dr. Phil. Never could.

A Margarita said...

Shaq raps? Are you kidding? How did I not know this? I feel like I have to listen.

nicoleantoinette said...

The stuffed animal band is so cute I almost can't deal with it.

Yoda said...

Does Jenny just have the one eye?

PrincessPolly said...

I loved the bunny story, although it has slightly traumatised me. :(

Carrie said...

Those were stellar questions.

I SO remember that FP cassette player! Weren't they the BOMB??? I'm sure you can find one on ebay... or amazon.

Crashdummie said...

I've got a big huggable bunny named Mr Happy - maybe we could arrange a blind date for him & Jerry. No, not blindfolded, not getting that kinky.

U know, u ought to have been a cheerleader or something, cuz the rant abt O'Neil was wicked!

PS. Ur such a dope PP, no wonder i adore u. I was grinning through the whole post!

Deutlich said...

yay! long post!!! whoooo!

and dude? i'm gonna have to implement that google search thing too.

seriously. the idea gives me the creepin' willies.

aside from that, I can't figure out how to see what searches bring traffic to my page anyway. I'm illiterate in that dept.

benjibopper said...

i dunno, i kinda like hoopa hypa lipta gramma. and you actually could ask mc hammer. he has a blog. a blogspot blog no less! i've commented on it. and yes, it's the real deal mc hammer. can't touch this.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahah......I had that that tape player.

I did. I miss it now.

Beth said...

Sweet companion, that Jenny.
Sweeter still that she resides with you even now.

Surfergrrl said...

yes, the dimple is cute. I've seen it in person (blush) :)

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I sometimes (very occasionally) still sleep with a soft toy.

His name is Cedric.

Maithri said...

Oh lord i think if i laugh any more im gonna pass out... and now i hear MC hammers got a blog... LOL! Im through. ;)

Lotsa love, M

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I'm going to put my Completely Unqualified Psychologists Hat on and say that your claim to be well adjusted mere sentences before admitting to a strange cuddly toy obsession makes you a tad wacky.

Ho ho!

Jess said...

Oh, the Fisher Price tape recorder! I had the same one. And loved it. I still have it somewhere, I think.

Libby said...

haha well said, pp!!