Anecdotin'

Baby birds have decided to set up residence in our bathroom vents. Initially, I was a little confused at the twittering noises that provided my showering soundtrack. Given that I live in an older building, I wrote these cheeps off as remarkably animalistic squeaks-- but after a few days, I consulted the all-mighty Google, who informed me that birds often have a special affinity for bathroom vents. I confirmed this by standing on my toilet, and tapping the slats, to which I was responded to by a flurry of tweets. Although friends have deemed them creepy, I've grown a little fond of these winged chirpers... and I'm exceedingly happy that my vent does not have a fan.

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A new Asshat of the Week has been declared...

Beer Pilferers.

As we bagged our alcohol for Saturday's house party, the Duke suddenly reminded me of a category of asshat I had forgotten for a long while (due to the sad lack of house parties since the whole graduating from high school thing): the beer stealer. This individual lurks by the fridge, where s/he scams unsuspecting people's beers, drinking them furtively in a corner, before grabbing another brand. We laughingly plotted a sting operation if we noticed any of our alcohol mysteriously disappearing, with plans to upload our confrontation of the beer stealer on YouTube.

A few hours later, we watched as a woman reacted to her beer being pilfered. 

"You know what's funny, guys? How we were the only people drinking Pilsner tonight, and somehow, we are missing four cans, and you two are sitting beside the fridge with cans of Pilsner in your hands."

The two men in question simply stood there, mouths agape and faces blank, and mumbled something about the host offering them free rein of the fridge's contents.

Apparently shame didn't serve as too substantial of a motivating factor to them, however, as it was only an hour later that I heard another friend's eruption over a missing six-pack.

Beer pilferers... as the winners of this week's prestigious prize, you are sentenced to a lifetime of consumption of warm non-alcoholic beer. Enjoy! And don't worry... no one will steal it from the fridge on you.

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File this one "That was TMI, Facebook"....

Perhaps you remember my rant on the internet phenomenon that is My Free Implants (aka. the world needs big breasted women more than it needs to cure AIDS and famine)?

An old high school friend is a proud member of this site, and uses her status updates to fill us all in on her monetary progress. A recent one celebrated a large donation by declaring "Yay for compassionate, generous people". 

It makes me a little sad, honestly, because she is a beautiful girl with a phenomenal body, especially for having had two children, and she is having to chat with and send photos to rich men in order to get herself the surgery to convince herself that she is beautiful.

***

I just went to Costco for the first time in years, and had forgotten how wonderful the notion is of getting everything in jumbo sizes. I was in awe of 20 litre buckets of margarine and bags of sugar I could use as a sleeping bag. I was giddy over my ridiculous purchases when I arrived home, shouting things like "Do you have dirty hands? That's okay because I have 3 litres of liquid soap!" and "You want a granola bar? Have two! We have forty of them!" 

My best purchase? A 4 litre jar of pickles. 

It literally takes over a half of a fridge shelf.

The oddest thing about this behemoth is the fact that it lists 3/4 of a pickles as a serving size.