Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dorkimus maximus

Things you may already know about me:

-Rather than participating in fun 20-something escapades, I thought a good option was to spend another decade in school.

-I am ridiculously clumsy . (I once ran a motorized scooter into a fence, and all my white clothes are coffee stained).

-I think a fun evening is watching a documentary in the bathtub

-I make up words (see title of this post).

-I write blog posts about slugs and encourage people to vote on ugly animals.

-And don't forget my passion for nerds!

The obvious factor uniting all of these things? While my boyfriend may (bless his heart) call it being cute, the truth is, I am a bit of a dork.

This came to me yesterday after I stood up from my seat on the bus (as it is very bad manners in my city to not be at the door by the time the bus comes to a halt), and promptly slammed my head on a metal pole as the bus driver tapped on the brakes, loudly proclaiming my pain.

This lead to me to consider a few of my other more dorkish tendencies...

As one would expect from one of such a geeky nature, I am rather reliant on my USB stick for holding onto all my nerdy essential.
Unfortunately, while I can remember the seven primary cognitive distortion in Major Depressive Disorder, I cannot remember to remove my USB stick from a single computer, which results in my losing it approximately once a week, with frantic searches ensuing.
This week? I convinced myself I left it behind at one clinic, and emailed my project partner in a tizzy, because it had the latest version of our paper on it. We figured out a comprehensive plan to deal with the missing paper... only for me to find the USB stick at the bottom of my bag on my way to another clinic the next day.
And then to leave it at that clinic, where I only go once a week, and is an hour away from my house.

***

I, like everyone, make silly mistakes. I don't think you need to be a dork to do this.
But what you happen to do if you're a dork is rely solely on self-deprecation as a coping strategy.
Prime example? I was doing some neuropsychological testing on a fellow, and happened to turn a stimulus page the wrong way.
Not a big deal, right?
Well it was after I decided that the unbearable tension in the room after such a faux pas needed to be broken by overtly making fun of myself and my coordination.

I am stellar at keeping a professional air about me.
*groan*

***

While I can occasionally wander into the realm of oversensitivity, I generally hold my own as a reasonable emotionally stable person.

However, the neurotic in me comes out in random situations, one of them being whilst caught in rain storms.

I am easily goaded into little tantrums when my poor toes are soaking. I've been known to slam my fists into my legs (which has been called the penguin by observers), stomp my feet, and pout like a little girl if a car cuts me off or sprays me.

(It would be much cooler to pull out a creative profanity at times like that, rather than sulking.)

I think my personal favourite failed rainy day tantrum was when, after a car nearly collide with me at a rainy crosswalk, I started flailing my umbrella at his hood, both to make sure he noticed his role in my near-death experience, and because I felt like a childish display of anger was justified.

Did he notice? Doubtful. But the force of my swing did made half of my umbrella collapse, thus resulting in an even more miserable remainder of my journey.

I can't even pull off pedestrian rage correctly!

***

Lastly, I am a little dorky in my attempts at creative plots.

A film is currently being filmed right above where the psychology clinic is located on campus. And not just some bad CBC movie-of-the-week-based-on-a-true-story (I heart CBC-- Canadian Broadcasting Company, for my non-Canuck readers, but their attempts at drama can be pretty damn week)-- a real Hollywood movie!
Starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathy Bates, and Mr. Moore himself (not Michael), Ashton Kutcher!


Princess and pal decide, that since the shoot is actually tremendously inconveniencing to us (there is currently an enormous black tarp covering the entirety of the windows of one side of the clinic, and we can't take most of our shortcuts), we deserve to do a little star spotting.


We set up a plot of being dumb lost students, to see how far we can get.
(Note to self- next time, try something more glamourous, like someone's assistant or even make up a role in the film).

We managed to get onto the film set, and most of the way to where filming was actually taking place (there was some sort of makeshift wall blocking our view only a few feet away) by playing dumb and telling the crew "we just need to get to that hallway just past where they are shooting".
However, just as we were about to have the right angle, we were confronted by some lead crew guy, who didn't believe our confused naive little students game, and actually made another crew guy move a massive heavy tarp covering a door to get us out of there.

I would make a horrible spy.

32 comments:

nicoleantoinette said...

I love introspective posts that reveal insanely interesting details for me to read and relate to.

I am a huge dork in so many ways, but I think you win for documentaries in the bathtub. I want a TV in my bathroom! I would watch The West Wing for hours and then either a) turn prune-like or b) drown...

S'Mat said...

from dark to dork in the flip of a post.
i enjoyed the posts of the past very much, discovering that i too, am 78% nerd (to my glee) and happily 43% geek. i am concerned at an emerging dork streak though...
thanks, that's seriously something i've been wanting to ascertain for quite some while!

distracted spunk said...

Er. Movie in a bathtub? What? I like this idea. But where do you watch the movie? I'm thinking a laptop in the bathtub is a bad idea. Details! Advice! Gimmeeee!

Also. I'd give you sweater bunnies, but they appear at will.

Also. I love you dorkimus maximus. I am a dorkimus maximus too. But I rarely get up until the bus stops just cause I already know I will fall over/slam into a wall/fall onto some random lady's lap/*insert mishap here*.

The end.

Jocelyn said...

I love how you wear your dorkiness with pride. Make a t-shirt!

You do everything with such charm...

Michelle said...

"pedestrian rage"
LOVE this term. so hilarious. no i don't have road rage - just pedestrian rage. what? lol

Yoda said...

You may have gained dork points with the head banging in the bus, lousy spying and riding a scooter into a fence.

However. In 2007 (nay almost 2008), just by keeping important files on a USB stick, you've lost all of them! Real dorks keep their stuff on websites or on Gmail to save themselves from their own dorkiness and lose the precious bits & bytes!

:-p

Yoda said...

Oooh, yes, what is this twenty something bloggers thing?

I see many familiar faces out there! Is it a chick thing or can dudes join too?

Princess Pointful said...

Nicole- Well then I believe you had come to the right place!! I wish I had a real TV in my bathroom...

S'mat- Dork to dark... nice. And don't you be suppressing that dork side too much!

Distracted Spunk- I have a little inflatable platform for it!
Actually... I put my laptop on a chair beside the bathtub.
I want sweater bunnies in exchange for this information.

Jocelyn- haha! I've fooled you, too. The dorkiness puts on a charming mask sometimes.

Michelle- I developed that term after I moved to the city and would almost die daily by people who were dedicated to making that left hand turn no matter what!

Yoda- The dorkier part is the fact that I lose it all the time.
And the 20-something bloggers is for boys and girls (but, you'll be happy to know that the gender balance works in your favour ;) ). You should join- it's a good way to find new blogs to read and do a little networking!

Ant said...

I disagree! :-)

All that stuff doesn't make you a dork, it makes you real (glamorous folk do all that shit too, they just get away with hiding it somehow...)

And anyway...

*begin shameless flirting*

... you're too pretty to be a dork!

*end shameless flirting*

Hope said...

Princess, I think you're too cool to be a dork. But then again, I am a dork too. (I once fell on the bus. Fell onto my knees and everyone just stared at me. I couldn't stop laughing and they just continued staring even after I managed to lift myself up and sit down.)

eric1313 said...

pshwww!

You'd make a wonderful spy by claiming to be a terrible spy and backing it up with klutzy maneuvers. Just remember the USB drive--which I, too, can't live without.

And don't forget my passion for nerds!

That's why we're here, isn't it?

Take it easy this weekend, friend.

Careful while bus surfing! :)

captain corky said...

"I've been known to slam my fists into my legs (which has been called the penguin by observers), stomp my feet, and pout like a little girl if a car cuts me off or sprays me."

Are straight jackets waterproof by any chance? ;)

Miriam said...

So no actual start spotting? That's incredibly disappointing.


http://lspoon.wordpress.com

t.b.f.love. said...

I am still laughing after reading this post. I am glad you are such an eloquent & witty dork, for it speaks well for us less eloquent & witty dorks. I also like the idea of watching a movie (probably not a documentary unless it's March of the Penguins) in the bathtub - good idea!

Miriam D said...

We are SO alike. I am a huge dork. I won't elaborate here, but trust me, I am.

benjibopper said...

why do i get the feeling we must be related somehow?

Larissa said...

I love your dork confession!

Coffee stains have been the demise of many of my white clothes. I am prone to spilling anything I'm sipping out of a cup. For some reason that is a really difficult thing for me.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog.This list provides a nice introduction.

Being closer to total dorkiness than most people suspect I can relate.

Cooper said...

Sorry, I'm not used to signing with my blogger name.

Sheila said...

Hey, if there so many of us dorks out there, are we really the dorks or are all the other people the weird ones?

cdp said...

Oh, Princess. I love you and your neologisms. Dork or not.

ps I am a complete and total dork and I laughed at all of these, only because they're all something I would totally do.

Because I'm a dork. Dorks are the new cool kids. Didn't you get that memo?

crawlingthecarpet.wordpress.com said...

my neologism for the week was "junglistic"
as in having "junglistic" passion in the bedroom.

or......
this party was junglistic.

junglistic- wild, crazy, or relating to jungle fever.

Lisa said...

I think I would make a terrific spy. I should give spy lessons. Call me Harriet.

Also, I'm so glad to read the blog of another nerd. I'd say I'm... 90% nerd, but only about 30% dork, 57% geek.

Wendy said...

Yes.. I dooo want to leave you some love!

Uh...anyway, being a dork is awesome, I'm a nork and that word just popped up in my head - I'm thinking it's a mixture of dork and nerdism.

I agree with your boyfriend, I think it's totally cute. To me, cute and dorkyness go together really well.

singleton said...

You are adorable!

Gary said...

I think you'd make a great spy, but probably of the Maxwell Smart variety. Combining brilliance, nerdiness and naivety all at once!
clip from Get Smart

libby said...

hahaha i would have totally tried to do some lame thing to get me in the stars' vicinity too. that's awesome.

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

You are who you are.
Never want to be someone else, life will be better as you.
Documemtaries are good anyway, they are about the only thing I watch.

Maithri said...

;) This really made me smile.

We've all gotta embrace our inner dork - ok that came out wrong - lol - You know what i mean,

Light and peace to you,

M

Beth said...

You are so not a dork. A little clumsy perhaps, but that's endearing.
And childish displays of anger can be so gratifying!

Barrie said...

I could set up my laptop on a chair in my bathroom. Thank you for the tip!

Lisa said...

I heart you madly, and think you're wildly fascinating. Seriously. I'm a huge dork and self-deprecate at the most unfortunate times. We should be friends.